Man Thought He Might Have Had An Ant In His Underpants

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 11 May 2020

image for Man Thought He Might Have Had An Ant In His Underpants
An ant crawling over a testicle (artist's impression)

A man who had severely itchy knackers, this morning, thought he might have had an ant in his underpants.

The man, who spoke to me on condition of anonymity, said that he had been sat in the kitchen doorway of his home, talking to his wife, who was preparing vegetables.

After a while, he noticed a long line of ants walking very near to his position. At the same time, he felt an insane desire to gouge his testicles out of their ball sacks, so itchy were they.

He rummaged around in his underpants, scratching and scraping at his scrotum, but no ants were discovered.

His wife, seeing this, suggested he have a shower, to remove any 'ants' that might be about his person. He obeyed, but even after his shower, and having dressed in a change of clothing, it still felt like there was an army of ants crawling all over his gonads.

His wife asked:

"Maybe you've got crabs."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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