Africans Glad They Don't Live In America
The coronavirus outbreak that has ravaged New York, Miami and other major US towns and cities, has many Africans feeling very glad they do not live in America. “I am glad I live in Lagos and not in New York or one of its surrounding boroughs and...
Read full storyThousands Naming Newborns After Virus
Thanks to the coronavirus, Corano has grabbed the No. 1 spot on Babynames.com list of most popular male baby names of 2020 so far. Sanitizrella was the most popular girl's name. "The overwhelming news saturation of the virus led to the popular...
Read full storyPigeons getting cocky
Today, London's Trafalgar Square has new masters - winged, feathered rats, strutting confidently over the white-stained concrete to fight over the remains of a packet of chicken nuggets. Now that the humans have disappeared, the pigeons are in charge...
Read full storyDonald Trump As An Airline Captain
If Donald Trump were an airline captain of a Boeing 747, and the United States his passenger, the nation would be headed towards a crash. Some will make it to life rafts and drift, some will swim to shore and survive, however, many will die. The p...
Read full storyGovernor Andrew Cuomo For President
After viewing coverage of Governor Cuomo’s daily press conferences about the coronavirus, voters see what executive ability is all about. Executive ability is not supposed to be a petulant ten-year-old, dressed in his father’s clothes, and wear...
Read full storyKardashians Lose Keys To City Of Miami, Causing Chaos
Socialites, businesswomen, and models, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian, caused chaos yesterday, after misplacing the keys to Miami. The sisters were awarded the keys to the city in 2012, an honor bestowed upon them by the municipality after the sist...
Read full storyPurdue Pharma Recommends Oxycontin for Treating Coronavirus Self-Quarantine Symptoms
While there is currently no known cure for COVID-19 itself, Purdue Pharma, the maker of the opioid drug Oxycontin, issued a statement recommending Oxycontin for off-label use in treating the symptoms of coronavirus self-quarantine – which may include...
Read full storyLara Croft's Tits Bigger Than Before
A man who often notices these kinds of things, has noticed that animated game character, Lara Croft, is 'bigger in the bosom' than she used to be - or so it seems. Lara, who stars in new game 'Relic Run', and used to be in 'Tomb Raider', can be se...
Read full storyDog Walker Says Her Business Has Gone to the Dogs
MANHATTAN - One of the Big Apple's most popular dog walkers says that her business has drastically been reduced because of COVID-19. Tatum Dazzle noted that the new “No Dog Walking” ordinance is literally killing off her business, and she says she...
Read full storyA Man in New Mexico is Making Medical Masks Out of Pantiliners and Scotch Tape
ALBUQUERQUE, New Mexico – A very innovative local entrepreneur who we’ll call Johnny Doe, is reportedly making a ton of money manufacturing medical masks. Doe told a reporter with the Albuquerque Articulator Express, that he has patented a medical...
Read full storyResidents of A Senior Citizens Home in Nebraska Are Passing the Time by Playing Twister
BROKEN BOW, Nebraska - Flossie Wunderwurst, the director of The Napping Nightingale Senior Citizens Home, which houses 603 older men and women, states that, everyone in the entire home is doing well and are in a happy mood, considering. The long-...
Read full storyThe United States Navy Responds to the Rumor That Cruise Ships are Being Diverted to the Bermuda Triangle
ARLINGTON, Virginia - Reports from several of the nation’s leading newspapers, say that the world’s cruise lines are expressing great concern over the recent rumors coming out of the Swampland (aka D.C.) A representative for The Wonder Cruise Lin...
Read full storyGas Stations in Colorado Will Start Giving out Recreational Marijuana with Every Fill Up
ASPEN, Colorado – The state’s thousands of gas stations are joining into a business venture that they say is going to revolutionize the gas station industry. Grover Buxonheimer, spokesperson for the Colorado Gasoline Guild, has informed the public...
Read full storyMan's Ford Capri Has Coronavirus
A man in Bradford has said that his car, which he has been driving for more than forty years, has come down with the Coronavirus. Phil Riddiough, 62, has been driving his yellow Ford Capri, Maisie, to and from work - and other places - since 1978,...
Read full storyDr. Dre To Re-release Classic Album
Well-known rap starlet, Dr. Dre, is to re-release his 1992 solo debut studio album, 'The Chronic', in April, albeit with a subtle, and topical, namechange - 'The Coronic'. Too bad no stores will be open. Fans will, however, be able to order the...
Read full storyJoe Biden Reminisces Back ToThe Day When He Won Super Bowl III
Sitting in his campaign office headquarters in Washington DC, presidential candidate, Joe Biden, started reminiscing about his past heroics, which included the time in 1879, when he single-handedly developed a vaccine for yellow fever. Then, in 1955...
Read full story