Sitting in his campaign office headquarters in Washington DC, presidential candidate, Joe Biden, started reminiscing about his past heroics, which included the time in 1879, when he single-handedly developed a vaccine for yellow fever. Then, in 1955 when he pitched a perfect game for the New York Yankees in game seven of the series. More than anything, he enjoyed none more than recalling the time, as a member of the New York Jets, he quarterbacked the team to victory in Super Bowl III in 1975 over the powerful Baltimore Colts.
“I did it,” proclaimed Biden to his campaign staff leaders. “In 1975, I did it! I engineered the greatest upset of all time in professional football history. I threw for 600 yards and 10 touchdowns, breaking all the records. That game is what got me into the NFL Hall of Fame.”
“I beat Sammy Baugh and Red Grange. It was a remarkable game,” Biden continued. “I didn’t just get the MVP of the Super Bowl, I was so good, the league gave me the MVP of the next three seasons, which I deserved. I worked hard for it. There is nothing more satisfying than living off the fruits of your labor. I was so good, that in 1976, when I ran for Congress, the entirety of Congress told me they weren’t going to hold elections, because I was unbeatable. They were on their knees just begging me to take the seat. I didn’t want to let them down, so I took it. That is why I am here today.”
As of press time, Biden was reminiscing over the ten straight Indianapolis 500 victories that he obtained between the years of 1985 and 1994.