Dog Walker Says Her Business Has Gone to the Dogs

Funny story written by Fannin Fabriano

Monday, 30 March 2020

image for Dog Walker Says Her Business Has Gone to the Dogs
Tatum Dazzle walking her landlord's dog 'Napoleon.'

MANHATTAN - One of the Big Apple's most popular dog walkers says that her business has drastically been reduced because of COVID-19.

Tatum Dazzle noted that the new “No Dog Walking” ordinance is literally killing off her business, and she says she will end up having to sell her Manhattan high-rise apartment, and move to Central Park.

Miss Dazzle sat on a corner bench, eating her Coney Island hot dog, and remarked to the hot dog vendor that her business is literally going to the dogs.

Gov. Cuomo has said that the state will soon be setting up 2,000 tents in Central Park on a first-come, first-served basis.

Each tent will be equipped with a queen-size bed, a folding chair, a 5-pound bag of apples, and a CD player.

Mayor DiBlasio is receiving lots of complaints, due to the fact that the members of The Radio City Music Rockettes seem to be getting preferential treatment regarding the tents.

The mayor said that wasn't the case, and he pointed out that his great-grandmother, Elvira May Brickenhauser, who is either 99 or 104, has been on the tent waiting list for six full days.

Meanwhile, ex-dog walker, Tatum Dazzle, says that she may just end up moving to Los Angeles, where dog walkers are still out walking the dogs and getting paid in cash or toilet paper (whichever they prefer).

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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