Donald Trump As An Airline Captain

Written by K.C. Bell

Monday, 30 March 2020

image for Donald Trump As An Airline Captain
"I see land."

If Donald Trump were an airline captain of a Boeing 747, and the United States his passenger, the nation would be headed towards a crash. Some will make it to life rafts and drift, some will swim to shore and survive, however, many will die.

The plane didn’t have to crash. The captain was incompetent. He didn’t listen when a flight attendant told him that one of the jet engines was on fire. He asked the flight attendant to get him a hamburger and a diet coke.

When ground control radioed that flight data indicated that two of his engines were on fire, he switched off the ground control radio and ate his hamburger, and smacked his lips at the last bite.

When his co-pilot said that three of the engines were on fire, he called his copilot a snake. A snake? Or clueless. Clueless? And a clown.

So the plane starts a nosedive. The captain asks for a piece of chocolate cake dessert with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

That plane is doomed.

How did the guy ever get the job of flying a 747 airliner? It’s doubtful the guy should even be flying a kite.

Things happened that shouldn’t have happened. The best way to crash a plane is to hire the wrong captain. Make it happen. Shout BS about anyone asking for the same job. That same job person might be an experienced air force captain, served during the Iraq war, landed jets on aircraft carriers, at night, during a storm, at sea.

Shout loud and wide that that same job person is a crook. Call that same job person a Crooked Captain. Insist that the Crooked Captain didn’t land jets properly in a place called Benghazi. Get the FBI to announce that the Crooked Captain dithered with classified emails. Boo, and thumbs down for the Crooked Captain.

So, the incompetent captain gets the job, and the plane is going to crash. You people who voted to hire the hamburger eating, chocolate-munching captain, are you still happy with your choice?

Fasten your seat belts! Tight.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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