A Man in New Mexico is Making Medical Masks Out of Pantiliners and Scotch Tape

Written by Fannin Fabriano

Monday, 30 March 2020

image for A Man in New Mexico is Making Medical Masks Out of Pantiliners and Scotch Tape
Some of Trinidad Crispington's employees taking their lunch hour.

ALBUQUERQUE, New Mexico – A very innovative local entrepreneur who we’ll call Johnny Doe, is reportedly making a ton of money manufacturing medical masks.

Doe told a reporter with the Albuquerque Articulator Express, that he has patented a medical mask that is made out of pantiliners and scotch tape. He calls the masks PantiMaskis 2020.

He told the newspaper, that he first came up with the idea when he was watching his wife taking a shower in their Albuquerque home.

When he mentioned to his wife about the idea, she laughed, and asked if he had bumped his head on her stripper's pole again.

Mr. Doe ignored his wife, and took out a small business loan. He now runs, what he says is, the only pantiliner/mask production company in the entire nation.

When asked about his employees, Mr. Doe became very quiet. He replied that he had 83 full-time employees. He then said that he was sorry, but that he had to get back to work to make sure that none of his workers were slacking off or shooting dice.

The Articulator Express learned that Johnny’s real name is Trinidad F. Crispington, and he owns the Mescalero Knick Knack Company located in downtown Albuquerque.

The newspaper investigated, and learned that, out of Crispington's 83 employees, 6 are from Albuquerque, 3 are from Boston, 1 is from Nova Scotia, and 73 are from El Salvador.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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