Pigeons getting cocky

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Monday, 30 March 2020

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Doo behave

Today, London's Trafalgar Square has new masters - winged, feathered rats, strutting confidently over the white-stained concrete to fight over the remains of a packet of chicken nuggets. Now that the humans have disappeared, the pigeons are in charge.

Geoff Bum is a pigeon-spotter who has a webcam set up at ankle-level on Trafalgar Square. "I like to watch the birds," he said nervously. He has noticed that the pigeons have become increasingly aggressive in their behaviour since the coronavirus lockdown.

"They believe that they own the square now, and will attack anything or anyone who comes close. I saw a cat approach them, and the pigeons went after it. They never did that before. At least, I never saw it, and I did spend most of my time looking at them and not at all at the bothersome shapely ankles which kept getting in the way of my camera."

It looks as though, for the time being, the pigeons are here to stay. Bird behaviour expert, Larry Arse, said, "This is something of a coup for the pigeon population."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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