The United States Navy Responds to the Rumor That Cruise Ships are Being Diverted to the Bermuda Triangle

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 30 March 2020

image for The United States Navy Responds to the Rumor That Cruise Ships are Being Diverted to the Bermuda Triangle
A Photo of the Lady of The Lost Lagoon - formerly the Costa Pacifica.

ARLINGTON, Virginia - Reports from several of the nation’s leading newspapers, say that the world’s cruise lines are expressing great concern over the recent rumors coming out of the Swampland (aka D.C.)

A representative for The Wonder Cruise Lines of the World (WCLW) is upset that the ten cruise ships that are presently out on the high seas, may be diverted to a path that will take them directly into the dreaded Bermuda Triangle.

When the cruise line rep spoke to a Navy spokesperson, he was assured that the ships may pass very close to the BT, but they would not necessarily enter it, unless there was a good reason, such as a hurricane, a tsunami, or a huge gathering of Sperm Whales.

At present, no ports anywhere in the entire world are allowing the ten ships to dock at their harbors, because they appear to have a C-19 infestation.

Captain Hoyt Frisbee, of the cruise ship Lady of The Lost Lagoon, said that his wife, back home in Provo, Utah, is really upset because she does not drive, and she has a dental cleaning appointment that she cannot miss.

The captain added that his wife does not trust Uber or it’s sister company Uberette.

The Navy has stated that they have agreed to airlift to the ship tons of food, medicine, toys, whiskey, and CDs by The Dixie Chicks, Celine Dion, Boys 2 Bros, and, for the much older folks, Neil Sedaka.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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