Actor's one-man show will go on
Renowned thespian, Geoff Act, has insisted that his one-man show at London's Prince Andrew Theatre will continue, despite the global pandemic. He will perform his three-hour monologue, My Word!, to empty seats until the run finishes in August. "I'...
Read full storySociopath to volunteer more in the Autumn
Local sociopath, Simon Thomas Plumbs Greaves, plans to do more volunteering in the Autumn when Coronavirus is over, he has said on his Twitter feed. 'I don't know what I should be doing, but I feel I should be doing more. I will in the autumn. Com...
Read full storyCouple regret not buying more board games
Gary and Lorraine Johnson have only a set of Monopoly, an old set of Jenga, and a pack of cards with two of the 10's, a 9, and a 3 missing, to see them through coronavirus. The couple and their son, 14-year-old Tom, are holed up in their spacious...
Read full storyNashville Man Devastated when Girlfriend Tells Him She Wants to Start Social Distancing
“And we had been getting so close,” said Andy Harding of Nashville, Tennessee, bemoaning the fact that his new live-in girlfriend, Amanda Miller, recently broke it to him that she wanted to start social distancing. “It’s a bummer, no getting aroun...
Read full storyMan Tells Society To Get Fucked
A man in East Yorkshire has commented on what is being touted as the end of civilisation, and said that, as far as he is concerned, the whole world can "go and get fucked". The man, ex-infantryman, Dennis Large, lives in a Second World War machine...
Read full storyFashion Houses Unveil Summer Collections
In a unique international fashion event in Beijing, all the major design houses took the opportunity to reveal their Summer Collections, and a glimpse of the fresh, new and original outfits that literally everyone will be wearing on the streets of Pa...
Read full storyTaylor Swift is Being Urged to Run Against Sen. Marsha “The Wicked Witch of The South” Blackburn
CHATTANOOGA, Tennessee - Hundreds of thousands of Taylor Swift’s fans who reside in Tennessee, are pleading with her to run against Senator Marsha Blackburn, who many say has lost the last few marbles she had. According to Political Salad Bar Maga...
Read full storyCher Says She Hates the President but Loves the First Lady
HOLLYWOOD – There is probably nobody in the entire USA who dislikes Donald Trump more than the legendary singer, Cher. Cher, who with her husband Sonny, were part of one of the most popular singing duets of all time, confessed to The Cucamonga Ch...
Read full storyThe Miss USA Pageant Says The Show Will Go On, But Adds That All 50 Contestants Will Compete Wearing Wet Suits
MIAMI BEACH, Florida - The Miss USA Pageant officials have said that there are no plans to cancel or postpone this year's beauty contest. The pageant producers stated that they just have way too much money invested in the show to just simply say ‘...
Read full story3M To Produce Medical Masks That Are Edible
INTERNATIONAL FALLS, Minnesota – A representative with the 3M company has just informed the public that one of their subsidiary companies, known as 4M, will soon begin production on a new medical mask. The mask, which will be marketed as The Unive...
Read full storyTrump Wants The Media To Stop Showing That TV Ad That Clearly Proves That He Lies All of the Time
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump’s chief lawyer, Segundo Juarez, has just issued a stop-and-desist letter against the mainstream media, because they are putting out television ads that, although are true and totally accurate, are upsetting his clie...
Read full storyIlluminati to Focus on World Finance Domination
AUSTIN, TEXAS - The Illuminati are giving up on "Political Intrigue", because they are sick and tired of the "f*cking incompetence" which is rampant among ALL politicians. Keeping their focus on control of the Financial Markets, the Banks, and Invest...
Read full storyKids Warned About Parents At Swimming Pool
Young children in Thailand have been warned that their parents are irresponsible, and should be carefully watched. The news comes after a man who used to reside in the country revealed a photograph that he had taken of a sign at the swimming pool...
Read full storyMan Has Noticed He's Drinking More Tea During Shutdown
The current shutdown, or 'lockdown', or whatever you want to call it, is having a profound effect on people from all walks of life, but one man has noticed that the profoundest effect it is having on him is that he is that he is drinking much more te...
Read full storyCoronavirus To Be Charged With High Treason, If Any Of Royal Family, Well, You Know
There's been a grave announcement from Buckingham Palace in the last few minutes, to say that the Coronavirus is to be charged with High Treason. And they're not kidding! The virus originally surfaced in China in January, but, instead of being...
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