WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump’s chief lawyer, Segundo Juarez, has just issued a stop-and-desist letter against the mainstream media, because they are putting out television ads that, although are true and totally accurate, are upsetting his client Donald J. Trump.
Juarez said that Trump’s main doctor, Dr. Yang Fu Fi, asked that Juarez issue that directive after he took Trump’s blood pressure and it was 208 over 196, which caused the good doctor to exclaim, "Oh, hell, that is way up there!"
Dr. Fu Fi, who was born in the Little America section of Shanghai, also noted that Trump is beginning to slur his words beyond belief.
He pointed out that Trump has been saying ‘srrisssshum’ when he means to say ‘Big Mac’.
He’s also saying 'srraaassssfluckle' when he means to say ‘Melania’ .
Dr. Fu Fi points out that this is really not too much cause for alarm unless he starts saying 'ffffruskatiittts', because that will clearly show that he needs to be institutionalized before the sun goes down.
Melania was asked to comment about Dr. Fu Fi, saying that her husband could very well end up being committed and she simply said, “YES!!!”
SIDENOTE: It is really no secret that Melania has wanted to return to her Trump Tower Penthouse for the past three years.