Coronavirus To Be Charged With High Treason, If Any Of Royal Family, Well, You Know

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 28 March 2020

image for Coronavirus To Be Charged With High Treason, If Any Of Royal Family, Well, You Know
Don't forget the bungs!

There's been a grave announcement from Buckingham Palace in the last few minutes, to say that the Coronavirus is to be charged with High Treason.

And they're not kidding!

The virus originally surfaced in China in January, but, instead of being satisfied with that, it started to travel around the world, infecting people wherever it went. When it reached England, it even got inside the lungs of Arsenal manager, Mikel Arteta, although he is now recovering.

This week, however, the virus crossed the line - it got inside Prince Charles.

In the House of Commons today, Members of Parliament were in uproar, with many asking the question:

"Just who does this virus think it is?"

Prime Minister Boris Johnson said:

"It really has, I think my honourable friends will agree, gone too far."

As he said this, the Coronavirus stealthily sidled up to him, and jumped down his throat.

The offence of High Treason today, could be charged against one who is:

"compassing the death of the sovereign, or of the sovereign's wife, or eldest son and heir" (Treason Act - 1351)

The virus certainly has gambled everything on attacking the Crown, and the Royal Family's legal representatives are unlikely to take this lying down.

If the virus is convicted - and, surely, it must be - it faces life imprisonment in a lab flask with a huge rubber bung.

The virus will, no doubt, instruct its own legal team to ask the Crown to take into consideration that it has also got inside Mr. Johnson, but this is not expected to help its appeal.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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