Man Tells Society To Get Fucked

Funny story written by Moys Kenwood

Saturday, 28 March 2020

image for Man Tells Society To Get Fucked
Dennis, waiting for society to disintegrate, so he can upgrade

A man in East Yorkshire has commented on what is being touted as the end of civilisation, and said that, as far as he is concerned, the whole world can "go and get fucked".

The man, ex-infantryman, Dennis Large, lives in a Second World War machine gun nest 'pill box' in sand dunes at Kilnsea, on the north bank of the River Humber.

He lost his job in the 1980s, and his marriage broke up. He never saw his three children again. Homeless, he was unable to get help, and became a societal outcast, roaming the streets of Hull.

The 'pill boxes' were left for decades after the war until the 1980s, when a housing crisis left many people without homes, and reliant upon the boxes as 'unofficial dwellings'. That's when Dennis moved in.

He said:

"The space only measures ten feet by six, but it's enough for me. I've got used to it, and it suits me fine. If I want company, I talk to myself."

And in deep mid-winter?

"It does get a bit lonely, and cold, at times, and I've no TV, so I just go for a walk, watch the sea birds, or play with meself."

He gets by in life by walking to nearby Easington, picking up cigarette ends to smoke, and rescuing leftovers from the bins outside the local fish and chip shop. There's an old hand-pump well still in working order at Kilnsea, where he can quench his thirst, or he can collect glasses at the local pub, and gleefully drown the dregs.

He said:

"I heard about that virus from somebody on the road. So what? Society shunned me, so I've shunned it. Fuck them! And you! I hope all of society becomes infected with that virus, and dies, slowly, because that will be what it deserves. I'll be OK. There's fruit on trees out here, and I know which plants I can eat, and which I can't. I eat nettle soup, and love nuts and berries. There's rabbits and birds, and hedgehogs and slugs, if need be. Society, and all the capitalists in it, can fuck off!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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