Man Has Noticed He's Drinking More Tea During Shutdown

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 28 March 2020

image for Man Has Noticed He's Drinking More Tea During Shutdown

The current shutdown, or 'lockdown', or whatever you want to call it, is having a profound effect on people from all walks of life, but one man has noticed that the profoundest effect it is having on him is that he is that he is drinking much more tea than he usually does.

Moys Kenwood, 56, is used to drinking a cjp of tea with his breakfast, and one after his evening meal during his working week, and another one with his midday meal at weekends. That's two cups Monday to Friday, and three on Saturday and Sunday.

Now, however, with all the time in the world on his hands, and a deadly virus to worry about, the layabout is also supping mid-morning, mid-afternoon, and just before bedtime, at what might reasonably be called 'suppertime'.

That's at least six cups every day!

It's estimated that, at the current rate of consumption, his tea bag supply is going to be depleted far more quickly than he had previously bargained for, but this isn't too much of a concern, as he's got shitloads.

Asked about the marked increase in his tea consumption, Kenwood said:

"Its's thirsty work, being worried."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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