Nashville Man Devastated when Girlfriend Tells Him She Wants to Start Social Distancing

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Saturday, 28 March 2020

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Despite the inconvenience, Andy Harding trusts that social distancing will end up bringing him and his girlfriend closer.

“And we had been getting so close,” said Andy Harding of Nashville, Tennessee, bemoaning the fact that his new live-in girlfriend, Amanda Miller, recently broke it to him that she wanted to start social distancing.

“It’s a bummer, no getting around it,” he said. “Especially since I haven’t even been exposed to any viruses that I know of. And here she has herpes, not that I’ve ever made a big deal about that.”

According to Andy, when the news about COVID-19 first hit Nashville, he and Amanda agreed that, to help “flatten the curve” and slow the spread of the much-feared coronavirus, they would practice self-isolation from their friends. As the news of COVID-19 pandemic became increasingly alarming, Amanda took it upon herself to extend her own self-quarantine to Andy.

As a result, Andy explained, to stay safe and ensure that they won’t unwittingly spread COVID-19 to each other, he will be sleeping on the couch for the foreseeable future, because the bed he and Amanda formerly shared is not large enough to allow for six feet of space between them.

Nevertheless, despite the inconvenience of staying far away from Amanda, even in their own home, Andy says that he appreciates how committed his girlfriend is to doing her part to maintain Nashville’s public health, and also to supporting those in their community affected by coronavirus - like their friend Zach, who is worried that his cousin in Kentucky may have COVID-19.

“Sometimes she’ll take her laptop into the bedroom, and shut the door and talk to Zach for hours,” said Andy. “She’s really been there for him."

And in the meantime, Andy says that he is simply grateful to have a girlfriend who is honest with him about the issues that matter to her, even when it’s hard. “That's what adult communication is all about," he said. "We’re doing our part against coronavirus, and that’s something we can both feel good about. And I'm trusting that it will end up bringing us closer in the long run.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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