Trump: Election Surprise in Store
The one thing we know about Donald Trump is that he will unleash some sort of surprise on us prior to the November election. Right now, his reelection looks like a long shot, and he is unlikely to go stoically about business as usual, and gracefully…
Read full storyMary Trump Says Uncle Donald Paid Someone To Take His SAT Exams
Well! Who’d have thought! Mary Trump, Donald’s niece, and a clinical psychologist, wrote in her biography of her uncle that Donald paid someone to take his SAT exam. Like you couldn’t have guessed that, with his failed spelling, reading, and know…
Read full storyBruce Wayne, Gotham City billionaire, joins presidential race
Behind the mask, it is easy to hide, but Gotham City's most prominent VIP has decided to 'come out', because he feels, if a multi-millionaire rapper, married to a lovely-shaped bum can defeat Trump - why can't he? Usually seen with his mask on, an…
Read full storyDaisy Duke Short Shorts Continue To Be Popular
Fashion trends come and go, but the perennial popularity of one particular item of clothing has surprised fashion gurus and fashionistas alike. Daisy Duke short shorts, the ultra-short shorts worn by Catherine Bach in her role as Daisy Duke in the…
Read full storyFOX News To Present Hot Dog Vendor Exclusive
President Donald Trump has given a huge thumbs-up to FOX news, who, responding to the return of major sport, are to present an in-depth and undercover report into the merits of various hot dog vendors at different sporting venues in the US. Trump,…
Read full storyMan Decides Yoga Is Not For Him
It's been difficult, for some people, to find things to do to occupy their time during the Coronavirus lockdown, but one man who took up Yoga has, after a brief struggle, decided that the activity is not really his 'cup of tea'. Moys Kenwood, 57,...
Read full storyTop secret criminal network has been penetrated by Cressida Dick’s crack squad
‘The success of this operation will spoil things for criminals for weeks or days, or at least until this afternoon,’ said Commissioner Dick. ‘I am convinced this is a major contribution to the disruption of organised crime and even some disorganised…
Read full storyChicharito Says He Wants To Buy The Manchester United Team
LOS ANGELES – Javier Hernandez Balcazar, better known as Chicharito (the Little Pea), recently told the Los Angeles Sports-Chronicle that he is seriously thinking about purchasing his old team, Manchester United. Chicharito, who owns a chain of Hu…
Read full storyFormer Manchester United Superstar David Beckham is Set to Manage a U.S. Collegiate Soccer Team
CARPINTERIA, California – Soccer great, David Beckham, has just stated that he cannot get soccer out of his blood. Beckham played for the L.A. Galaxy between 2007 and 2012. The retired superstar was recently approached by the athletic director for…
Read full storyTrump University Has Just Announced That it is Cancelling it’s 2020 Football Season
NEW YORK CITY – The coach of the Trump University Titans football team, has just stated that that they are cancelling the 2020 collegiate football season. Coach Bilbo “Ding Dong” Shasta, 74, stated that the reason is not because 24 of the players…
Read full storyNBC Announces That The Dallas Cowboys–Pittsburgh Steelers Hall of Fame Game Has Been Cancelled
NEW YORK CITY – NBC hates to inform the sports viewing public that the pre-season game between the Cowboys and the Steelers, which was to have taken place in Canton, Ohio, has been cancelled. It appears that more than 83% of all food vendors; incl…
Read full storyThe Nation’s Leading Atheist Group Demands That The Los Angeles Angels Change Their Name
LOS ANGELES – The North American Atheist Alliance has texted the Los Angeles Angels baseball organization, and is insisting that they change the team name immediately, if not sooner. NAAA director Lucifer “Beelzebub” McConnell, stated that 9% of t…
Read full storyThe Washington Redskins Owner Agrees To Sign 13 Native-American Players
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a move that many in the Native-American community are hailing as a big step forward, Danny Snyder, the owner of the Washington Redskins, says that he will be signing 13 Indian players. Sporting Chance magazine said that one o…
Read full storyTrump Supporters Say He's The Best President In Living Memory
US citizens who proudly count themselves amongst the massed ranks of President Donald Trump's supporters, have spoken out in force to assert that, without a shred of a doubt, he is, by far, the best presidential leader in living memory. This news…
Read full storyLeprechaun Grants Golfer Three Wishes
BILLINGSGATE POST: News has reached us of a golfer who met a Leprechaun whilst enjoying a round of 18 holes in Ireland. The story is so controversial, that the names of all involved have been redacted to protect the innocent. The golfer hooked hi...
Read full storyWashington Redskins To Change Their Name To Something Completely Different
The Washington Redskins, having come in for criticism in relation to their name, which could be said to be an affront to Native American Indians, are seriously considering making a major change. Slated for the derogatory name 'Redskins', the franc…
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