The Washington Redskins Owner Agrees To Sign 13 Native-American Players

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 7 July 2020

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It turns out that Daniel Snyder is a lot smarter than many NFL fans thought.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a move that many in the Native-American community are hailing as a big step forward, Danny Snyder, the owner of the Washington Redskins, says that he will be signing 13 Indian players.

Sporting Chance magazine said that one of the players is quarterback Sleeping Buffalo Figaro, a member of the Arapaho tribe, who played college ball at Hiawatha University, and led the team to an undefeated season (10-0) during his senior year.

Redskins Coach, Ron Rivera, is excited about place kicker Johnny “Evil Elk” Swansea, who briefly played for the Detroit Lions, before being cut due to a tonsil infection.

Rivera said that Swansea, who is ¾ Mohawk, recently had a tonsillectomy and he is doing great. He added that, during practice, Swansea kicked fields goals of 57, 59, and 63½ yards.

Coach Rivera is thrilled with 6-foot 9-inch wide-receiver, Geronimo Hickorydock, Jr., (a Pawnee), who attended George Armstrong Custer University, and set the touchdown record for a single game with 9 touchdown receptions.

CNN is reporting that they have interviewed members of various tribes including the Kickapoo, the Kiowa, and the Potawatomi and they’re all as happy as a coyote in a flock of sheep.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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