Chicharito Says He Wants To Buy The Manchester United Team

Funny story written by Fannin Fabriano

Tuesday, 7 July 2020

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Chicharito says that he and his wife Sarah love L.A. except for the earthquakes, mud slides, smog , and fires.

LOS ANGELES – Javier Hernandez Balcazar, better known as Chicharito (the Little Pea), recently told the Los Angeles Sports-Chronicle that he is seriously thinking about purchasing his old team, Manchester United.

Chicharito, who owns a chain of Hungarian Goulash Restaurants in California, said that his wife wants him to retire from the world of soccer, and concentrate on his Shetland pony breeding ranch; Rancho Goooooooal!

The native of Guadalajara, Mexico, is a forward for the Major League Soccer side, L.A. Galaxy.

Balcazar has a history of being quite the ladies’ man, having dated such women as Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Lopez, Ivanka Trump, Marie Osmond, and Cheryl Cole.

He added that he stays busy on the weekends by engaging some of the neighborhood kids in a friendly game of soccer. He quickly pointed out that bets are limited to $20.

When the superstar was asked if he missed England, he replied that he misses Bangers & Mash, and hanging out with such British celebs as Simon Cowell, Mick Jagger, Piers Morgan, Ant and Dec, and, of course, Queen Elizabeth.

He said that he was surprised to learn that the Queen knows over 400 knock-knock jokes.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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