Man Decides Yoga Is Not For Him

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 7 July 2020

image for Man Decides Yoga Is Not For Him
Kenwood, silhouetted so that you can't see the leotard

It's been difficult, for some people, to find things to do to occupy their time during the Coronavirus lockdown, but one man who took up Yoga has, after a brief struggle, decided that the activity is not really his 'cup of tea'.

Moys Kenwood, 57, saw an article about the mind-relaxing and meditative technique on Facebook recently, and opted to 'give it a go'.

He bought a rubber exercise mat and a black Lycra stretch leotard, which, on reflection, might have been overdoing things a bit.

He consulted the internet for a free instructional video, and got to work.

The Gyana Mudra, the joining of the index finger to the thumb, was easily achieved, and he moved on.

Kenwood managed to contort himself into the Lotus Position, but had to gain assistance from his wife, to get out of it again. Getting into 'The Crab' seemed easy, but he twisted his back, and had to stay in bed for three days.

Yoga was proving painful.

Even the meditational benefits failed to materialize. He attempted to 'clear his mind of all thoughts', but his mind contained no thoughts, only clutter that was hard to shift.

After two weeks of trying to get his body into positions it, clearly, didn't want to consider, however, he put his mat and leotard out of sight in a dark cupboard for the time being *.

Then he read another book.

* - forever

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more