Washington Redskins To Change Their Name To Something Completely Different

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 7 July 2020

image for Washington Redskins To Change Their Name To Something Completely Different
Changes afoot? (That's no disrespect to feet, by the way...)

The Washington Redskins, having come in for criticism in relation to their name, which could be said to be an affront to Native American Indians, are seriously considering making a major change.

Slated for the derogatory name 'Redskins', the franchise has, this week, also come under fire for associating itself with the name of the first US president, George Washington.

Mr. Washington owned slaves, although he was uncomfortable with slavery. This has been described as 'committing a murder, then feeling uncomfortable about it', by the Black Lives Matter organization.

BLM are also saying that the name of the very capital itself should be changed. Founded in 1791, the city was named after Mr. Washington, and is, therefore, a constant reminder of the city's association with slavery and oppression.

BLM warn that, even dropping the slave-owning president's name, and using just 'D.C.' would be fraught with tension, because of its connection with Christopher Columbus.

It's a right old mess.

Until recently, it was asserted in polls that 90% of Native Americans were not offended by the use of the word 'Redskins' in the name, but admonitions from the team's sponsors, Nike, FedEx, and PepsiCo have shifted the focus of the problem from a 'moral one', to a 'financial one'.

Discussions are continuing at FedExField, and on Capitol Hill.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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