7 Reasons to Vote Kanye West for President
On Saturday, musical artist and fashion designer, Kanye West, announced his candidacy for the 2020 US Presidential election. West made his announcement via Twitter. “We must now realize the promise of America by trusting God, unifying our vision...
Read full storyKanye West to give Donald Trump lessons in rap
Following his declaration to run for US President in 2020, favorite rapper of anyone who supports the Kardashians, and has not heard any proper rapping, Kanye West has promised that he will give Donald Trump lessons in rapping. 'Even if he doesn't…
Read full storyPresident Trump Seen Holding Hands With Sean Hannity
In shock news that is almost certain to keep other less interesting though equally worthless news off the front pages this morning, it's been alleged that President Donald Trump has been seen holding hands with FOX News political commentator and talk…
Read full storyPresident Trump Says He'd Like To Be Bummed By Half Of The Houston Astros Team
In revelations which take some believing, it's been rumored that President Donald Trump has said that he likes the Houston Astros baseball team so much, that he wouldn't mind being buggered by half of them. The news, first reported in 'The Texan S…
Read full storyHouston Astros Consider Namechange
The Houston Astros are coming under increasing pressure to alter their team name tonight, after Black Lives Matter (BLM) representatives claimed the word 'Astros' was disrespectful to people of African origin, sounding, as it does, a bit like 'Afros'...
Read full storyDonald Trump Vows To Beat The Radical Left
July 4th, Independence Day, and Donald Trump vows to beat the radical left. Over two hundred years ago (Donald Trump is already asleep), the radical left was led by a guy named George Washington. He had a group of friends. They were making a heck...
Read full storySocks Were Just Left On Floor!
It's been reported in the last few minutes that a pair of socks that were worn yesterday, have been found this morning, discarded on the floor of a home in East Yorkshire. Another sock, without its partner, was slung nearby. The socks belonged...
Read full storyBlack rats not responsible for Mongolian bubonic plague!
The world knows who to blame for the Coronavirus, but the world is now looking at yet another virus that could lock us all down again; bubonic plague, better known as 'Black Death', is back again. Luckily, this outbreak occurred a million miles a…
Read full storyThe Ku Klux Klan Announces That They Will be Distributing Confederate Flags in Harlem
POSSUM BELLY, Mississippi – RumorLand News is reporting that one of the chapters of the Ku Klux Klan, has just announced that they are planning on going into Harlem, New York, and distributing Confederate flags to the residents, free of charge. Wh…
Read full storyThe Miss Massachusetts Beauty Pageant Has Been Cancelled When It’s Discovered 3 of The Contestants Have MAGA Tattoos
BOSTON, Massachusetts – The officials with the Miss Massachusetts Beauty Pageant regret that they are having to cancel this year’s state beauty contest. Pageant director, Meryl "Gams" Kinderhook, 46, informed the media that, during the all-nude bo…
Read full storyThe New York Yankees and The Los Angeles Dodgers are Picked To Go To This Year’s World Series
LAS VEGAS – The brain trust in Las Vegas has just stated that the odds-on-favorites to make it to this year’s World Series are the New York Yankees and the Los Angeles Dodgers. The Yankees chances greatly increased when they picked up super pitche…
Read full storyGuatemala’s Two Top Drug Cartels Are In a Big Drug War
ANTIGUA, Guatemala – The Cartel Drug War down in Guatemala has turned into a ruthless, inhumane, and downright stressful situation. The two main factions are the Tapachula Hombres, headed by ex-attorney, Gomer Ixtantan, who is one of the best lawy…
Read full storyFox News Hints That Ivanka Trump May Be Replacing Laura Ingraham
NEW YORK CITY – It is no secret that Fox News is sick and tired of getting so many complaints about how horribly Laura Ingraham mispronounces even simple words, like 'hoax', 'C-19', 'grapes', and 'bitch'. They have warned Ingraham repeatedly, but…
Read full storyMan Was Personally Asked To Stop Dog And Cat Meat Trade
A man who was merely minding his own business perusing the pages of a satirical news website, has told how he was affronted with an image of live dogs in a cage, and an order to: "Stop the Dog and Cat Meat Trade" and to: "TAKE ACTION TODAY"…
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