Is Donald Trump Turning Into A Typhoid Annie?
Sort of like Typhoid Annie, Donald Trump is leaving a surge of coronavirus patients in the wake of his campaign rallies. Gathered in enclosed facilities with over 5,000 cheering and coughing enthusiastic attendees, a few days following Trump’s one-ho…
Read full storyWhat Is Donald Trump Trying To Hide?
The Fake News label used so frequently by Donald Trump for every dicey situation has educated the public to the point of prompting the public to now say, "Uh-huh, then it must be true!" Evidence presented from different intelligence agencies abou...
Read full storyUkulele group banned from local park
Toby Smith and his ukulele band of several hipsters have been banned from their local park in Mithering on the Trent. The hirsute six-piece often play in the Duck and Mallard on the High Street at their local open mic night, but since the lockdown…
Read full storyCDC Warning to Men with Trophy Wives
Life is not uncomplicated for old men with trophy wives. Such wives are expensive to maintain and can be hard to keep up with. Furthermore, the husband, from time to time, naturally asks himself whether his wife loves him, is faithful, and so on.
Read full storyMan has finished reading James Joyce's Ulysees, or so he says
Stan Bridgewater, a 47-year-old eternal bachelor, and man about town, has, for the fourth attempt, finished reading James Joyce's Ulysses. With extra time during lockdown, and feeling that his years of virility were slipping away, he told us: 'It…
Read full storyBrit marrow champion 'slugged' after UK lockdown!
Corona lockdowns have had a massive effect on the UK National Marrow Championship held in Saxtead, Suffolk. Last year's champion and multi-times winner, locally known as Mad Max Marrow, has been terribly 'slugged'. The consequences have been devastat…
Read full storyThe SPL and Aberdeen
With Covid-19 slowing its murderous dance across the world, sports are beginning to start up again, albeit with no spectators. Every sport has been affected in its own unique way: rugby teams, for example, have had to cut down on throwing dwarves aro...
Read full storyI thought I was working class, until I realised I hung my toilet roll the wrong way round
The 'East End Coronation Cobblestone Street Theatre Company' claims to be an open and inclusive creative environment for working class actors, but has excluded one applicant because she hangs her toilet roll the wrong way round. 'The theatre is o…
Read full storyColumbus, Ohio Takes Down the Statue of Christopher Columbus
COLUMBUS, Ohio – The city council voted to take down the statue of the man who most believe discovered America. Although, the descendants of Amerigo Vespucci will say that it was actually discovered by their family predecessor, who was affectiona…
Read full storyKellyanne Conway’s Daughter Comes Out as An Anti-Trumper
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The woman who is Donald Trump’s chief counselor and adviser has just admitted that her own daughter can not stand President Trump, and thinks he is an evil sub-human being. Claudia Conway, has stated that she loves her mom, but…
Read full storyWWE Wrestler Ronda Rousey Has Agreed To Wrestle Mike Tyson
LAS VEGAS – Ronda Rousey has said that there is no one on the face of the Earth that she is afraid of, not even Mike “The Ear Biter” Tyson. Rousey, who stands 5-feet 7-inches tall, and weighs 121 pounds, said that she has agreed to wrestle Tyson,…
Read full storyMeghan Markle and Prince Harry Have Expressed a Strong Dislike for President Trump
LOS ANGELES – The former British royal couple, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, have said that they really love living in the United States, because there are so many fast food restaurants all over the place. They have both let it be known that the…
Read full storyThe PGA Masters Golf Tournament Will Be Removing the Name "Masters"
AUGUSTA, Georgia - After receiving lots and lots of complaints from fair-minded citizens, the Black Lives Matter group, and Oprah Winfrey, the PGA Masters Tournament Association will be changing its name. A spokeswoman stated that they will be dro…
Read full storyMississippi Updates Its Flag
Biloxi, MS - The state of Mississippi is trying to shed its image as the most racist state in the Union, even deciding to take down their 126 year old flag, which is part confederate. But what to replace it with? ...hmmm? (or in Mississippi's cas...
Read full storyMan Has Hurt His Back Doing Something
It's been reported that a man who woke this morning to a quite severe twinge of pain in his back, must have hurt himself doing something yesterday. The incident happened without prior warning when Moys Kenwood, 57, heaved himself out of his bed at...
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