The 'East End Coronation Cobblestone Street Theatre Company' claims to be an open and inclusive creative environment for working class actors, but has excluded one applicant because she hangs her toilet roll the wrong way round.
'The theatre is over-populated by the middle class with their unspoken exclusive nods, so I hoped this was going to be my artistic working class home from home,' said Brenda O’Lox, a graduate of The Drama School for the Socially Conscious.
Unfortunately, Ms. O’Lox’s parents financed her drama course, so she applied for credits via the assessment panels background checks. Her lorry-driving dad and checkout assistant mum got her nods of approval. And, when asked how she prepared an Avocado smash, she reaslised it was a trick question, and responded: 'What’s an avocado?'
Brenda scored bonus credits negotiating another trick question:
'Sofa or couch?'
'A settee,' she confidently responded.
Concerns were then raised when she was asked: 'Isn’t your mum a senior supervisor - at Waitrose?'
Brenda’s aspirational lower middle class family background began to delete her credits.
She defensively replied to 'Does your dad own his own lorry?' with 'Father’s worked really hard,' then regretted not saying 'Dad'.
Brenda embarrassingly cemented her lack of working class credentials by justifying how how she hung her toilet paper 'One naturally hangs it wall side down.'
She has been informed she could reapply if her status improves.