Stan Bridgewater, a 47-year-old eternal bachelor, and man about town, has, for the fourth attempt, finished reading James Joyce's Ulysses.
With extra time during lockdown, and feeling that his years of virility were slipping away, he told us: 'It was now or never. Everyone says that they couldn't finish Ulysees, but I have. Do you know why? Because I never stopped reading it. OK, the storyline left a lot to be desired, and the characterisation could have been a lot sharper, but it was OK.'
Stan continued: 'I don't know what I will be doing next. Perhaps I will watch Citizen Kane, and see why everyone bangs on about that so much.'
Stan has a profile on Firestarter.com holding a fish, which also proclaims he has finished reading Ulysees. We sense that a librarian with low standards could be perfect for him.