Ivanka Advice: Find Something New, Like A Leg Wax
Well, Ivanka Trump was not exactly suggesting that just you the unemployed, on welfare or food stamps, homeless or living by the grace of food banks, Find something new. She was also trying to gingerly suggest to daddy that maybe it was time that…
Read full storyHELL To The REDSKINS: Change Name To WASHINGTON EUNUCHS
BILLINGSGATE POST: It has been a bad week for Washington Redskins owner, Dan Snyder. Just after bending over and taking it in the shorts by agreeing to change the name of his beloved team, 15 maidens came out of their teepees to claim they were sex…
Read full storyFringe theatre organisers distressed as one production is a happy play
The play ‘My happy childhood, successful career and great marriage’ has shocked fringe theatre organisers, as the audience didn’t leave, wanting to commit suicide. “I’ve been curating the ‘The Swinge’ (The Swindon Fringe) since before the mass aud…
Read full storyNiger And Nigeria Consider Namechanges
The furore over the recent racist violence perpetrated on innocent black civilians in the US, and the subsequent unrest, shows no signs of abating, and, this morning, comes the news that two countries are seriously considering changing their names, t…
Read full storyPolice To Show LGBTQ Support With New Uniform Design
For too long now, the police have been seen as an instrument of oppression, a 'toy of the rich', and the enemy of minority groups, but that's all set to change next year, when new police uniforms will be worn in support of the LGBTQ movement. The…
Read full storyLeaked Report Says There Are 'Too Many Humans' On The Planet
Details of a report commissioned by the World Health Organization (WHO) into how viruses spread throughout large communities, have been leaked to at least one member of the press, who has gone public with the information. The WHO commissioned the…
Read full storyTrump Promotes More Mexican Products
Washington, D.C. - After Trump gave his orange thumbs-up to GOYA beans and spices on Wednesday, White House pollsters surveyed a half percent favorability bump from Mexican/American voters. With that news, Trump's re-election team hit the ground r…
Read full storyTrumps ‘super-duper missile’ is betterer than their ‘really-good’ missile
Unconfirmed reports that the Pentagon is developing a missile that travels 17 times faster than the missile that travels 17 times slower, have not been confirmed. “The President learnt ‘They’ had a missile that was ‘damn fast’, so we started plann…
Read full storyRumba Style, Trump Shakes Up Campaign Staff
Holy cow! Trump shakes up his campaign staff? Does this mean that Donald Trump still thinks he has a chance to win re-election? And all he has to do is to shake up his campaign staff? And then, Bingo! Four more rent-free years at the White House.
Read full storyMary Trump Says She's Heard Uncle Donald Trump Use The “N” Word Many, Many Times
NEW YORK CITY – The one Trump that all of the news media (except for Fox News, of course), says is the only Trump who does not lie, has dropped a humongous bombshell, with her tell-all book on the “Pied Piper of The Potomac”. Mary Trump says that,…
Read full storyDoctors Say That President Trump May Need a Tongue Transplant
WASHINGTON, D.C. – After conducting countless tests, a group of the nation’s leading physicians have agreed that President Trump needs to have a tongue transplant. Dr. Pernell Tuttler, Jr., who headed up the intensive 3-week study, pointed out tha…
Read full storyA Former Miss Kentucky Has Been Sentenced To Prison on Sex Charges
FRANKFORT, Kentucky – The state of Kentucky is famous for thoroughbred race horses, and now, for a thoroughbred ex-school teacher. Former girl’s P.E. teacher Rhonda F. Boxwinkle, is headed to the big house. And, no doubt, the rough and tumble Dixi…
Read full storyThe Washington Redskins Are In Hot Water as 15 Cheerleaders File Sexual Harassment Charges Against Team Personnel
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Noah was the first person to ever utter the cliché, “When it rains, it pours.” And now, Washington Redskins team owner, Daniel “Woe Is Me” Snyder, can say the same thing ten times over. After finally agreeing to change the team’…
Read full storyKylie Jenner Wants To Buy Revlon and Covergirl
LOS ANGELES – The richest of all of the Kardashian klan has just told the Hollywood Hors D’oeuvres news agency that she would like to purchase two giant makeup companies, Revlon and Covergirl. Kylie, the self-made billionaire, said that, ever sinc…
Read full storyGreen Bay Packers Quarterback Aaron Rodgers and NASCAR Driver Danica Patrick Have Broken Up
GREEN BAY, Wisconsin – After dating for 2 years and 3 days, and buying a $28 million mansion together, Aaron and Danica will now ‘run and drive’ off into the sunset. An unidentified neighbor said that they looked so happy. Lots of times he would s…
Read full storyWho Do You Want Flying A Doomed Plane Amy McGrath Or Mitch McConnell?
Suppose you were in a United 777 flying direct to London, and an emergency were to develop, would you rather have retired Iraq fighter pilot veteran, Amy McGrath, in the plane or Mitch McConnell? Suppose the pilots ate bad food before boarding the…
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