WASHINGTON, D.C. – After conducting countless tests, a group of the nation’s leading physicians have agreed that President Trump needs to have a tongue transplant.
Dr. Pernell Tuttler, Jr., who headed up the intensive 3-week study, pointed out that, due to the constant, everyday, barrage of lies that come out of the President’s mouth, his Lingualosa Fibsiola has been severely damaged.
When asked if it can be fixed, the doctor replied probably not. He then stated that the medical group is urging Trump to consult a tongue specialist, and see about getting a tongue transplant, hopefully before Columbus Day.
Tongue transplants, though somewhat unusual, are being performed more and more, especially on politicians, who seem to have a higher percentage of lying than even hairstylists, fishermen, golfers, and dentists.
The only problem with Trump is that, over the decades and decades of constant, perpetual, non-stop lying, his tongue has actually grown to twice the size of the tongue of a normal, everyday, run-of-the-mill liar.
So, therefore, it will be a very difficult task to find a suitable donor.
One of the team doctors suggested that Sean Hannity could possibly be a perfect transplant donor.