Donald Trump Dodging Subpoena Service During Republican Convention
What are the chances the New York Attorney General’s office might serve Donald Trump with a subpoena during the Republican Convention? Eric Trump received a subpoena today, and Rudolph Giuliani is rumored to be next. After Rudy, could come Trump,…
Read full storySpace Academy Scandal Shock
Following the discovery of register irregularities at Charney Bassett Academy (Science & Space Technology), police have begun an investigation into unexplained student disappearances. Head of Science, Iam Totally-Crackt, shouted, "It was an i…
Read full storyPostman Pat's one-man show cancelled
One man. One van. One black-and-white cat. The one-man show you all wanted, Postman Pat Chats, has been cancelled due to the Coronavirus. You will have to wait another year to hear what the bespectacled ginger whinger has to tell you about cut-bac…
Read full storyMan now only watching the Good Life for the comedy
Stanley Bridgewater has admitted something that we all along expected. He is only watching tepid 1970s sitcom The Good Life for the comedy, such as it is. Neighbourhood busy-body Allanah Plant-Pots said: 'Stanley always seemed a bit weird to me. M…
Read full storyFamily develops self-loathing after a four-hour game of Guess Who?
There was tension in the house of the Johnsons after a planned short game of retro favourite Guess Who? was dragged out to a tedious four-hour epic. 'It all started so well,' said amiable dad, Gary. 'I suggested we played Guess Who?, knowing that…
Read full storyLA Lakers LeBron James Didn't Even Shower After Portland Trail Blazers Victory
He may have had a quiet first half in the LA Lakers 116-108 win over the Portland Trail Blazers yesterday, but superstar LeBron James felt that he was so comfortable during the game, and put in so little effort, that he didn't even bother to have a s…
Read full storyMeghan Markle is sick
The former Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, has announced that preliminary medical checks by qualified medical professionals have ascertained that she might be suffering from a cold. She first started feeling unwell last Saturday, but, the Royals…
Read full storyMan gives himself throat examination
A man who has had an annoying sore throat and a nasty cough for longer than he would like, has taken matters into his own hands, and given himself a throat examination with the use of his mobile phone. Craig Smith, from Bracknell in Essex, first s…
Read full storyOne Woman's Desperate Search For A Decent Electric Can Opener
A desperate search is underway by a Kent woman for a decent electric can opener. Anna Kirby-Helm Birthstone, of Deal, says she is frantic and 'stressed beyond belief' as she wades through the options available to her after her Cuisinart SC0-60 Del…
Read full storyDog Joins Cult
MONTREAL – After years of searching for her true purpose, local Yellow Lab, Nutmeg, has become a member of the group Apostles of Infinite Love. This Quebec group is widely viewed as a cult. “Nutmeg has always been known to wander from group to gro…
Read full storyNeymar's tears caused by a Bayern champagne shower getting in his eyes!
(UNEDITED) The world looked on as a Brazilian mega-superstar cried his eyes out after losing to a team of barbarian Bavarian's. A spectacle it was not, but the real spectacle unfolded when dethroned footy King, Neymar, surrendered to his superior opp…
Read full storyA Tire Shop In East Los Angeles Caught Making Counterfeit Condoms
EAST LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) - FBI agents raided The Tsunami Tire Shop after getting a report that employees were producing counterfeit condoms and selling them at flea markets. Agent Gulliver J. Sorrento stated that the knock-off condoms look…
Read full storySexy Blonde Pole Dancer Claims She Had Sex with 13 Different NBA Players
MANHATTAN – (Sports Satire) - A well-known blonde pole dancer has revealed to Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine, that she horizontally dilly-dallied with 13 professional basketball players, just within the past eight weeks. Jolene Butterwood, 24,…
Read full storyMeghan Markle is Verbally Attacked by Piers Morgan and Prince Harry is Furious
SANTA BARBARA, California – (Satire News) - TMZ reported that Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, has gotten politically involved in getting out the vote for the upcoming election. Former U.S. talk show host, Piers Morgan, has exploded. He rante…
Read full storyPresident Trump’s Sister, Federal Judge Maryanne Trump Berry, Throws Him Under the Bus Big Time!
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) - The iRumors News Agency is reporting that the President’s older sister, unlike him, does not lie. Retired Federal Judge Maryanne Trump Berry spoke with iRumors and revealed some very interesting details about her br…
Read full storyGlut Of Harry Maguire Stories Expected At Satirical News Website
Knees were braced and teeth tightly clenched as the owners of a satirical news website battened down the hatches today, in nervous anticipation of an avalanche of Harry Maguire-related stories, after the Manchester United and England defender was arr…
Read full storyMan Really Couldn't Care Less About Why British People Say "I Couldn't Care Less", But In The US It's "I Could Care Less"
A man who usually worries about such anomalies is tonight claiming that he couldn't care less about why British people tend to say "I couldn't care less", whilst their American cousins insist upon saying "I could care less" instead. The two senten…
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