EAST LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) - FBI agents raided The Tsunami Tire Shop after getting a report that employees were producing counterfeit condoms and selling them at flea markets.
Agent Gulliver J. Sorrento stated that the knock-off condoms looked real, but if one looked real close, one could see that they had tiny little pin holes.
He added that they were being made by a machine that is used to fix flat tires, and, as a result, the condoms had a kind of Firestone/Goodyear tire smell to them.
The shop owner, identified as Kix Dawdle, 52, said that he was not aware of what was going on, because he takes a lot of naps during the day.
Video clearly showed him holding several condoms up to the light and saying that he gave them his stamp of approval.
Dawdle said that the video had been photoshopped, because he does not own a Chicago Bulls jersey, plus he is a whole lot more handsome than the guy in the video.
Dawdle is trying to hire famed attorney Gloria Allred, but he said that she is not returning his calls.