There were 746 spoof news stories published in February 2012. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
$15 Trillion Super Bowl Bet Would Wipe Out The National Debt
Indianapolis -- Congress is gambling that a determined group of Patriots can again save the United States from collapse. The lawmakers are betting $15 trillion that the New England Patriots will defeat the New York Giants in Super Bowl XLVI. "If N...
Read full storyCongress Strikes Back: Gives Taxpayers a 4% Approval Rating
Washington -- Still stinging from the lowly 10% approval rating it received from the American public, Congress has taken revenge, bestowing a measly four percent approval rating on taxpaying citizens. "Taxpayers are doing a terrible job of providi...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Halts Her Concert After Two Jerks Hit Her Guitar With Red Laser Beams
GREEN BAY - Taylor Swift was in the middle of her concert performance at The Cheddar Cheese Convention Center in Green Bay when she suddenly stopped singing and playing in the middle of a song. The 22-year-old country songstress had just gone into...
Read full storyBirth Certificate Reveals Rick Santorum To Be The Son of God
Washington, DC -- Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum has declared his campaign to be "The Second Coming," after learning that his birth certificate identifies him as the Son of God. "I thought I might be related to Superman," Santorum...
Read full storyJustin Bieber and Selena Gomez Are Overheard Talking About Possibly Eloping
CHATTANOOGA - Selena Gomez had just watched her boyfriend Justin Bieber perform at a sold-out concert at The Ooh La La Convention Center in Chattanooga. After the concert, the couple met backstage with Taffeta Kixx of iRumors. She asked the couple...
Read full storyInternational Space Station picks up SOS signal from missing 'alien lake' drilling crew
Antarctica - "This is the last time we frack for bloody Gazprom!" was the gist of an emergency frequency communiqué picked up by astronauts aboard the ISS this morning. It has broken a seven day radio blackout of Russia's Arctic and Antarctic Res...
Read full storyVegetarian Rage As Harry Styles Out Of One Direction Papped Eating Meat Pie In Dorking
Vegetarians the length and breadth of the nation were up in arms following the publication of photographs clearly showing Harry out of One Direction tucking into a Tesco's minced beef and onion pie in Dorking. High profile foodies blame Harry's sp...
Read full storyNYC Fashion Week Extended, Will Include Show for Kindles and iPads
For once, the two gadgets see eye-to-eye. Ida iPad (the head of the Apple iPad labor union) and Katie Kindle (the head of the Amazon Kindle labor union) totally agree. There's a fantastic, but neglected, market out there to deal with the latest fas...
Read full storyGroundhogs Seek New Careers
They've just about had it, with looking for their shadows. "And it's a once-a-year gig," complained a groundhog who wishes to remain anonymous. "What are we supposed to do for the other 364 days of the year?" An informal survey revealed a variety of career paths now followed by the industrious rodents. One groundhog who has recently signed a contract with a famous weight-loss chain, had t...
Read full storyDisneyland Australia
Walt Disney Home Entertainment has released a statement at their Annual Conference on Friday confirming that a new disney land theme park will be built in Sydney, Australia. A rep for the company confirmed that the annoucement of the companies 9th Pa...
Read full storyJustin Bieber and Selena Gomez Want The Age Old Practice of Lip Syncing Stopped Once and For All
ASHLAND, Wisconsin - One of the happiest celebrity couples in America, Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez flew out to Ashland, Wisconsin. A group of retired Wisconsin Amalgamated Power & Light workers spent a total of 48 hours building the largest...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Has Been Asked To Write The Theme Song To The Movie "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2"
LOS ANGELES - Country music singer Taylor Swift recently got together with Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart two stars of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2. The Twilight Saga stars chatted with Taylor in her dressing room after she had per...
Read full storyKiddie Cappuccinos Sold in Brooklyn; Ho-Hum, Say Kids
The latest rage in Park Slope Brooklyn is the fake cappuccino, developed to convince toddlers they're getting designer drinks just like the ones adults are ordering up. Yeah, right! A spoof reporter who understands baby talk has conducted interviews with a number of Brooklyn toddlers and has discovered that they are not deceived. Moreover, they are disgusted by the charade. Here's a sample...
Read full storyRush: Why Do You Dorks Like This Band?
Stop it now. For some reason you dorks really like this band and I'm telling you they're not cool. The fact that they're still around, 40 years after they started, is scary and disappointing, because it means today's young generation of dorks will be downloading them to their iPods just as feverishly as their parents bought their albums, 8-tracks, cassettes, and CDs. Well, I'm telling you to stop...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Receives A Valentine Chocolate Bar In The Exact Shape of Her Favorite Guitar From A Famous Secret Admirer
HENDERSONVILLE, Tennessee - Taylor Swift was sitting in her home just relaxing and reading the latest copy of Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine when she heard a truck stop in front on her home. Taylor glanced out the window and saw a FedEx delivery man carry...
Read full storyNorwegian Forest Cat slurs explained
Oslo - The Norwegian Forest Cat Fanciers Association today backed down over some defamatory remarks published online about the breed's proclivities. An article in Pussy News Oslo-Style apparently repeated that ages old chestnut about the mogs havi...
Read full storyMiraculously Woman With Two Vaginas Locates Man With Two Penises
Dating is a slipper slope in the best of circumstances but add a little adversity to the situation and it could seem almost impossible to find a suitable mate. Well a woman with a malady that could be considered a little adversity has found the pe...
Read full storyRussell Brand and Kate Gosselin Sneak Off To Cabo San Lucas, Mexico For Some Flirtatious Fun In The Sun
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Kate Gosselin has taken up Russell Brand's offer of helping her to get over her breakup with American Idol's Steven Tyler. And Brand, who filed for divorce from Katy Perry almost two months ago, is reportedly more than gla...
Read full storyDemi Lovato Explains Her New Totally Blonde Look
HOLLYWOOD - Demi Lovato has had more than her share of ups and downs the past couple of years. And just when it looks like things are back on track something seems to come out of leftfield to derail the young singer's cheerful trip down the railro...
Read full storyRussell Brand Offers To Help Kate Gosselin Mend Her Broken Heart After Being Dumped By Steven Tyler
HOLLYWOOD - Russell Brand has stated that he watched The Grammy Award Show at his home in the Hollywood Hills and that he was not surprised one bit to see and hear his soon-to-be-ex-wife Katy Perry diss him in her song "Part Of Me." In fact Russel...
Read full storyThe Next Level
Jean and I had been out three times in the last couple of weeks after chatting on the phone and by e-mail for a bit. I had answered her ad in the newspaper's dating section, and we seemed to get on pretty well. It was at our last date that Jean said she thought we should 'take things to the next level' when we got together next. To be honest, I was quite happy keeping things platonic - I hadn't...
Read full storyThe Twilight Saga Midnight Sun
Twilight Saga superstar and teen heart throb Robert Pattinson has spilled the beans on confidential information regarding the the twilight series. During an interview with Regis and Kelly on friday night pattinson let slip that what was thought to be...
Read full storyOnce Abe Lincoln's mistress, N.Y. woman tells all in explosive new memoir
Four days after arriving at the White House as an upstairs maid in the summer of 1863, 19-year-old Bronx native Bebe Meardsley lost her virginity to the President of the United States. In an explosive and salacious new memoir, "It wasn't that much of a Secret: My Affair with President Abreham Lincoln and its Aftermath," to be published Wednesday by Bealistok & Bloome, Bebe Meardsley describ...
Read full storyAirbags Adding Safety to New Nuke Plants
Augusta, Georgia -- An electric utility here is building the first new nuclear generating plants to be constructed in the US since 1978. Its safety secret: the use of giant, automotive type airbags to cushion and protect the facility from the destruc...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Urges Demi Moore To Get Herself Into Rehab
LOS ANGELES - In what has got to be one of the most perfect examples of the old cliché of the pot calling the kettle black, comes word out of LaLaLand that Lindsay "LiLo" Lohan has urged Demi "The Cougar" Moore to admit that she needs to check hersel...
Read full storyIce Cold in Alex
Hard-cheeked buttocks stood proud, taut muscles rippled under the strain, sweat beaded down the rugged noble face as his hot breath swirled then dissipated into the cold Manchester air. In Alexandria's adoring eyes, Jack cut the figure of a statuesque rampant stallion ... "Oooooh, what a creamy dream," she thought. "Eh?". Jack flashed his luxuriant camel-lashed eyes in her direction. "Lo...
Read full storyAmong The New Romantic Books
with Tilly Wrestleman Greetings friends! 'Tis almost that most Romantic time of year again. That especial day, when the gallant lover gets out the batter-pan and addresses the pancakes in honour of the Jewish Patron Saint of Scottish watercourses, Rabbi Burns. I am singing of that night when an heap of steaming crepes is laid out for the delectation of our lover and his lass, in honour of Sh...
Read full storyEvery Retail Store In America Expects To Sell Out of The DVD and Blu-Ray of "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I" Within 15 Minutes
HOLLYWOOD - The much anticipated The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I, starring Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart will hit the retail stores on Saturday. Hollywood Innuendo is reporting that most of the nation's major retail store chains have h...
Read full storyNASA dubs GJ 1214b Super Earth 'Planet Cannabis'
Groom Lake, Nevada - A water-world with a 'thick and steamy' atmosphere was nicknamed Planet Cannabis at NASA HQ today. Reports have described it as a gigantic organic hydroponic ecosystem orbiting a red dwarf in the Ophiuchus constellation of The...
Read full storyKristen Stewart and Vanessa Hudgens To Star In The Vicious Vampires of Vienna Vs. The Psychotic Zombies of Zanzibar
HOLLYWOOD - Grandiose Films in association with The Lions Door Motion Picture Company has just announced a movie which will star Twilight's Kristen Stewart and Vanessa Hudgens who appeared in the three film series of High School Musical. The film...
Read full storyJennifer Aniston Has Remarked That If Brad Pitt Leaves Angelina Jolie She'll Take Him Back In A Snap of Her Finger!
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Jennifer Aniston was recently getting her hair trimmed and she told her hairdresser FuFi Fondue that she has been keeping up with the goings on in the Pitt-Jolie-Thornton carnival sideshow. Aniston who was married to Pitt before...
Read full storyEngland Prepares For Scottish Independence
On Burns Night, 2012, the BBC broadcast to English viewers and listeners, Scotland's First Minister, Alex Salmond, reading poems by Robert Burns. Few will forget the chilling threat that followed this attack. 'Ah will continue tae reid th' poems ay Rabbie Burns at ye sassenachs,' vowed a visibly crazed Mr Salmond, 'until Scootlund achieves independence. Indeed,' he added, with wild eyes bulging...
Read full storyKhloe Kardashian Leaks Some Provocative Photos of Her Sister Kim Kardashian In Hopes of Getting Her Sister Some Dates
DALLAS - Khloe Kardashian who with her Dallas Mavericks husband Lamar Odom stars in the reality show Khloe and Lamar says she has been feeling bad that her sister Kim has been depressed lately. It seems that since Kim filed for divorce from her NB...
Read full storyStripped down Windows 8 will run on last century Pentium PCs
Microsoft is currently busy promoting their upcoming Windows 8 operating system designed for use on tablets and mobile phones as well as their traditional PC market. However, as a result of making Windows lean and mean enough to run on these devices...
Read full storyCamden kebab shop deconsecrates Amy shrine amid Pete Doherty apparition
London - A spectral image that suddenly materialised on the Delancey Street Kebab Taverna window was a dead ringer for the Babyshambles musician proprietor Costas Kleftiko said today. The Camden takeaway is host to an unofficial shrine to deceased...
Read full storyThe Federal Reserve Makes Money Disappear
Washington, DC -- Say goodbye to the almighty dollar. In a unanimous decision, the Federal Reserve's Board of Governors has voted to abolish the use of money in the United States, effective immediately. "The world's economic system is broken beyon...
Read full storyContents Of The Queen's Handbag Revealed In New Book!
In a new book, 'Elizabeth the Queen, She's On The Throne', by royal biographer Sally Bedsheet-Vomit, Sally has revealed some of the items Her Majesty likes to carry around with her in her handbag. They include a crisply folded five, and ten pound not...
Read full storyIan Somerhalder Receives A Fantastic Valentine's Day Present From His Vampire Diaries Co-Star Nina Dobrev
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev took a nice drive out to the Hollywood sign where they were sitting in Dobrev's burgundy colored Cadillac Escalade SUV with the personalized license plate Elena G. The two were enjoying the beautif...
Read full storyBruce Willis Says Demi Moore's Depressed Condition Is Totally Ashton Kutcher's Fault
HOLLYWOOD - Bruce Willis recently stated that he has tried to stay out of the May-December marital mess of his ex-wife Demi Moore, 49, and her boy-toy husband Ashton "The Itch" Kutcher, 34. Willis, who fathered three semi-good looking daughters wi...
Read full storyBritney Spears Up To Her Old "Upskirt" Ways
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Britney Spears who became almost as famous for getting out of cars as she did for her singing and dancing is back in the news again. According to Margarita Mixx of The Tinsel Town Times Tribune the 30-year-old singer was just phot...
Read full storyWoman's Pancake Day shock horror as Turin Shroud face appears in blini
London - Barking resident Mrs Hilda Ricketts has spoken of her dismay after a Pancake Day mix-up with her husband's ashes saw a Turin Shroud-like apparition pop up in her blini. Apparently she mistook a jar of the late Jock Ricketts' cremated rema...
Read full storyAdele's Voice Destroyed by Oversinging and Vocal Cord Nodules
Woody Alllen said that politicians are one step below child molesters. Many music industry people are one step below politicians. As British born beauty Asma al Assad speaks out in favor of her charming husband Bashar al Assad Whitney Houston just jo...
Read full storyMadonna Admits That Her Super Bowl Halftime Performance Was Lip Synced And She Explains The Reason Why
BROOKLYN - Madonna was relaxing in her apartment trying to get over the tremendous sore throat that she said she had gotten the day before her Super Bowl performance. The 53-year-old singer was being waited on hand and foot by her 24-year-old boy...
Read full storyHeidi Montag Confesses That Being A Sex Symbol Has Its Negative Sides
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Heidi Montag recently stated that she knew she had made the "Big Time" last year when she appeared in Staccato Monteverdi's The Naked Cougar of Cucamonga with Rob Pattinson. Montag was talking to Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillo...
Read full storyJustin Bieber and Selena Gomez Talk Candidly About Their "Wow Factor"
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Justin Bieber and his girlfriend Selena Gomez were taking a nice little afternoon stroll up by the famed Hollywood sign. The sign which was donated to the city of Los Angeles in 1923 by the Central American country of Costa Rica...
Read full storyJustin Bieber and Selena Gomez Spotted At The Super Bowl - He Was Cheering For The Giants And She Was Cheering For The Patriots
INDIANAPOLIS - Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez were at Super Bowl XLVI (46) and they were both ecstatic that for once the focus was not on them but on the football field where the New York Giants defeated the New England Patriots 21-17 to become the S...
Read full storyThe Lift: An Everyday Story Of Office Folk.
To: Allstaff From: Reception. 13:15 14/05/11 Sorry to report that the lift is not workin today. If you are expectin any visitors please come to receptionto meet them and not leave them to find their way to your offices by theirselves. Anyone goin for a drink after work? Its happy hour on fridays at the Duke. Laura in reception. xxx To: Laura Twist From: MD office 13:17 14/05/11...
Read full storyAnfield Cat in Twitter fight with Joey Barton.
The Attorney General is to investigate comments made by Joey Barton on Twitter during a heated debate with Anfield Cat. The scouse moggy became an internet sensation after running onto the pitch during last night's game between Liverpool and Spurs...
Read full storyThe Where's My Refund Glitch: IRS Invents New Way To F**k With Poor People.
For hundreds of thousands of nearly-destitute Americans who rely on their income tax refund each year to pay March's rent, have the check engine light on their 1996 Nissan Sentra addressed, or just to blow on luxuries like dental care, crack or laund...
Read full storyKim Kardashian Reportedly Has Her Sights Set On Kobe Bryant
BEVERLY HILLS - Kim Kardashian was shopping on Rodeo Drive at the famed Dolce & Gabbana Store for a winter purse. She was quickly approached and assisted by the store's assistant manager Evangeline Tucker-Waterseason, 42. Kardashian was thr...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Named The Skinniest Actress At The 84th Annual Academy Award Show
HOLLYWOOD - The 84th Annual Academy Awards Show was hosted by Billy "The Pistol" Crystal. Crystal first began hosting the award show back when there were only four Great Lakes. There are some people who still recall that Billy actually wrote some...
Read full storyIt Looks Like Madonna Has Her Super Bowl XLVI Halftime Lip Syncing Performance Down To A Semi-Science
INDIANAPOLIS - The Midwestern town of Indianapolis will be home to Super Bowl XLVI (46) between the Giants of New York and the Patriots of New England or as Sports Territory Magazine's Tango Brisket refers to the two teams, The Apple Guys Vs. The Tea...
Read full storyChavez OKs New Venezuela Disneyland
CARACAS, VENEZUELA -- President Hugo Chavez today approved construction of the controversial "Che Guevara Disneyland," a $500 million entertainment facility that will include a special Guerrilla Land in addition to Disney's more typical facilities su...
Read full storyAdam & Eve: "How, for God's sake, were we supposed to fucking know!"
In a satellite news conference from an unknown location, Adam & Eve held a press conference late this afternoon. The broadcast was deemed authentic by NASA. The world was startled as the broadcast was in all of the known languages. The picture was bright and clear as Adam spoke first. Adam: "How, for God's sake, were we supposed to fucking know!" It's time, however, for you to know and p...
Read full storyThe Mystery Of Puddleby Cove - Featuring The Spiffing Six - Episode Three
Update - The story so far... The Spiffing Six (Of whom there are four, and a somewhat priapic dog,) have arrived at Aunt Peg's cottage at Puddleby Cove, and have encountered a mysterious figure, flitting about amongst the rocks in the cove, in a highly suspicious manner. The Spiffing Six attempted to pursue the suspicious character, but - hampered by overindulgence in food, Headbanger beer, and a...
Read full storyObama Taking Medical Marijuana: Mr. President or Hey Dude?
WASHINGTON --- White House aides confirm President Obama has been taking medical marijuana for several months. A Staffer emphasized that, "medical marijuana is permitted for those suffering chronic pain." "That chronic pain includes his mother-in-law...
Read full storyA Very Depressed Jennifer Aniston Fears That Justin Theroux Is Getting Ready To Dump Her
OXNARD, California - Jennifer Aniston had driven up the Pacific Coast Highway to Oxnard to visit one of her favorite cousins Melba Toastowitz. As the two cousins sat in Melba's backyard listening to a CD by The Who Jennifer turned to Melba and ask...
Read full storyRomney: "Turn on the green light, the man wants a green suit!"
The Associated Press is reporting this morning that a leaked internal memo from Mitt Romney to his campaign staff instructs them to…"Turn on the green light, the man wants a green suit!" The saying is evidently an old saying from the men's clothi...
Read full storyManchester United Fanzine 'Red Issue' Accused Of Scousism
The Manchester United fanzine, Red Issue, was accused by the media of Scousism today, after it published a cut out and keep Ku Klux Klan mask bearing a 'Luis Suarez is innocent' slogan. For anyone who has been sleeping rough in a skip throughout t...
Read full storyAdam Lambert to Take Over from Queen
The British Royal family is reported to be changing House with the House of Windsor about to become the House of Lambert. A report in British tabloid, the Daily Rats, confirmed that the Queen will be succeeded by none other than singer, Adam Lambe...
Read full storyKate Gosselin Finding Comfort and Joy In The Arms of Maksim Chmerkovskiy of Dancing With The Stars
VENICE BEACH - It appears that "The Badboy of The Ballroom" Dancing With The Stars, Maksim Chmerkovskiy has come to the aid of a damsel in distress. The fiery tempered Russian born dancer whose last name Chmerkovskiy, according to Judge Carrie Ann...
Read full storyVideo Game Industry to Provide Skippable Games
It has been long established that video games which do not allow you to skip non-interactive video segments can be very frustrating to game players. It now seems that the video game industry is ready to take this a step further, by allowing game play...
Read full storyNew York Knicks Star Jeremy Lin Says Kim Kardashian Asked Him Out On A Date
NEW YORK CITY - New York Knicks rookie sensation Jeremy Lin informed Rufus Reno of Sports Balls Illustrated Weekly that he received a phone call from Kim Kardashian. The 23-year-old Lincredible player said that Kardashian told him that she got hi...
Read full storyCreationist archaeologists discover proof of God
In the Nevada desert, a group of archaeologists have made an astonishing discovery which appears to provide evidence for creationism. In a large dig site, the bones of ten dinosaurs have been discovered wearing crucifixes. Chief digger and creatio...
Read full storyVice-President Joe Biden To Guest Star With Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder On The Vampire Diaries
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Loretta L. Luftnagle, a spokesperson for The Vampire Diaries, has just informed the entertainment media that Vice-President Joe Biden has agreed to appear in an upcoming episode of the popular television series. Vampire Diaries...
Read full storyKate Middleton seen 'walking the dog' near Kensington Palace
London - Strict No Smoking, No Drugging, No Soliciting bylaws form crucial components of the Kensington Palace tenancy agreement covering poodle fakirs (sic) and their molls. Last night a hooded, muffled figure was seen strolling in Kensington Gar...
Read full storyOld Man On 1000th Spoof Story Gets Constipation
A writer on the satirical news website, TheSpoof.com, has told readers within the site's forum that he is experiencing a bout of constipation at a critical point in his spoofing career. Jaggedone, 86, told forum readers that, on the cusp of achiev...
Read full storyChristina Aguilera Explodes When Questioned About Her 'Baby Bump'
LOS ANGELES - Christina Aguilera had just left a taping of the music reality show The Voice when she was met outside by a member of the Hollywood Press Corps. Hacienda Dakota with Hollywood Vis-á-Vis managed to have a few words with the pleasantly...
Read full storyLady Gaga Insists Her Tata's Have Not Been Surgically Enhanced
SHERMAN OAKS, California - Lady Gaga attended Heidi Montag's Super Bowl Party at Plastic Land Manor, Heidi's $8.9 million Slovakian-style mansion. Lady Gaga and Montag first became friends when Gaga provided one of her shoulders for Heidi to lean...
Read full storyHirsute Camels Farted - At Escapee!
Three camels being kept overnight in a field by a travelling zoo at Brean Sands in Devon were about to be attacked yesterday morning after one of the zoo's lions entered the camel's field after having somehow managed to escape from it's cage. Howev...
Read full storyRihanna and Chris Brown Are Back Together And Both Suggest That Miranda "Shotgun" Lambert Needs To Mind Her Own Business
ST. BARTS, West Indies - It appears that after three years Rihanna has finally forgiven Chris Brown for beating her up on the night of The Grammy Award Show. Chris and Rihanna pleasantly reconnected at this year's Grammy Award Show. A spokesperson...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and David Duchovny Get it On in Red Shoe Diaries
HOLLYWOOD - It's no secret that Vampire Diaries leading lady, Nina Dobrev, has the hots for X-Files FBI Agent Fox Mulder, David Duchovny. "Forget Ian Somerhalder," Nina was overheard saying at a restaurant this past weekend. "I got my sight set on...
Read full storyRihanna and Chris Brown To Move In Together
BRIGHTON BEACH, Barbados - In what many people are calling an unbelievable turn of events, it now appears that former lovers Rihanna and Chris Brown appear to have put the past behind them - way behind them. Afro Sheen Magazine's March edition has...
Read full storyNina Dobrev Insists That The Alleged Erotic Internet Photos of Her and Ian Somerhalder Are Definitely Photoshopped
BEVERLY HILLS - Nina Dobrev, the star of Vampire Diaries, was sitting in her usual chair at the famed Haven of Hair Salon on Rodeo Drive. She was being given the full hair treatment by the hair stylist to the stars FuFi Fondue. Fondue who at on...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Ecstatic About Her Upcoming Summer Concert Tour With The Rolling Stones
LOS ANGELES - Miley Cyrus was all smiles as she spoke with American Idol host and L.A. radio personality Ryan Seacrest. Cyrus was walking on air as she admitted to "Peaches" Seacrest that the word on the streets of LaLaLand is that she will be goi...
Read full storySantorum Prohibits Possession of Birth Control Pills at Campaign Events
RED BANK, NJ (AP) Former senator Rick Santorum (R-13th Century) drew criticism from both wings of the political bird yesterday when his campaign spokesman, Cardinal Ignatius Glick, held a news conference to announce that no birth control pills would...
Read full storyAntimatter or matter, does it matter?
US scientists at the US Tevatron accelerator have discovered, after millions of US tax money had been invested, that the universe is full of "matter" and "antimatter" is much less and after all does it really "matter" which "matter" is out there anti...
Read full storyFormer American Idol Judge Simon Cowell Denies The Adam Lambert Rumor and Insists That He Is Not Homophobic
HOLLYWOOD - Simon Cowell, the man who has been called "The Englishman With The Midas Touch" is no stranger to controversy or the world of controversial subjects. The "Sultan of Sarcasm" was recently interviewed by Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pill...
Read full storyThe Scandalous Rumor Mill Focuses In On Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Stars of The Vampire Diaries
HOLLYWOOD - Two of the most popular and well-liked individuals in LaLaLand are Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev who star in CW's The Vampire Diaries. The celebrity couple has been rumored to have recently ended their relationship. But like Somer...
Read full storyEmergency Room Visits Hit Record High on Valentines Day
Starting in Europe, a sharp rise in medical emergencies was detected in at least seven countries beginning this February 14, Valentines Day. The trend has reportedly continued west into Canada and the United States but is apparently affecting only...
Read full storyGeorge Clooney Talks Candidly About Girlfriend Stacy Keibler's Perfect 'Pin-Up' Body
HOLLYWOOD - George Clooney and girlfriend Stacy Keibler were recently seen having a great time at The Giggle Giggle Comedy Club in Hollywood. The couple had gone to see a good friend of Clooney's stand up comic Zydeco Dupree. The Louisiana native is also a roving reporter for iRumors so he is well know to most of Tinsel Town's A-List celebrities. After Dupree finished his 21-minute comedy ro...
Read full storySantorum Now a Contender: Santorum and Romney to Star in Broadway Revival of "Carrie"
With a new head of steam from his three electoral victories on Tuesday night, Rick Santorum is daring to think what might have been unthinkable just a week ago and remains improbable - particularly from a costume perspective - that he can dispatch Ne...
Read full storySacha Baron Cohen Alias Admiral General Aladeen Has Been Fined $100,000 For His Academy Award Show Urn-Spilling Prank on Ryan Seacrest
HOLLYWOOD - The 84th Annual Academy Awards Show went on fairly smooth, but the same cannot be said for the pre-show Red Carpet segment. As American Idol host Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest was interviewing Admiral General Aladeen of the country of Wadiya...
Read full storyLiam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus Getting Into A Tit For Tat Tiff Over Her Tattoos
MALIBU BEACH - Miley Cyrus and her Australian boyfriend Liam Hemsworth recently attended a party in honor of the stars of The Vampire Diaries Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev. The shindig was held at Rob Pattinson's luxurious Malibu Beach house kno...
Read full storyManchester United Boss To Apologise To Kenny Dalglish
Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson is to say sorry to his Liverpool counterpart Kenny Dalglish after scolding him badly last weekend over his apparent protection of Anfield striker Luis Suarez. Ferguson said after the game at Old Trafford...
Read full storyFurious catfight as Samantha Cameron and Sally Bercow both claim inspiration behind Commons' 'Top Totty' beer
London - Described on the handpump as 'a stunning blonde beer, full-bodied and voluptuous' the Strangers Bar guest ale is hardly an Ann (48GG-38-44) Widdecombe tribute tipple judging by the semi-naked Bunny Girl pic emblazoned on the tap. Tonight...
Read full storyLady Gaga Devastated That She Didn't Even Win One Grammy
BEVERLY HILLS - Lady Gaga went into the infamous Haven of Hair Salon located on the world famous Rodeo Drive to get an estimate on a brand new Ukrainian-inspired hairdo. As she sat in the chair chatting with salon owner FuFi Fondue she appeared to...
Read full storyLetters To The Editor: The Industrial Revolution, or Thereabouts
Dear Sir, whenever I hear the song 'I'm 'Enery The Eighth I Am', I think, "that wouldn't work if they said 'Henry' like we do in real life." The cockney accent makes it worse; they are implying that all cockneys say "Enery" instead of Henry. Now if they used "Emery", as in Dick Emery, that might just work, plus there would be quite a demographic to aim for when it comes to re-marketing th...
Read full storyThom Yorke Back to Save the Universe with His Ponytail
Miami, FL--Everyone knows that long hair makes for better rock music, but did you know that it makes for a better planet, too? The sold-out crowd at American Airlines Arena in Miami, FL, was stunned last night when the elfin Radiohead frontman, Th...
Read full storyAmericans still unsure about Adele's nationality
Despite her bumper haul of awards at last night's Grammy awards Americans are still confused about exactly where Adele is from. The confusion, although not affecting U.S sales of her album 21, is causing some Americans to question just how 'into'...
Read full storyIBM Releases Superconducting Quantum Computer, Large Hadron Collider Engineers Experience First Boner
Showing photographs of the recently developed superconducting processor, IBM announced plans for eventual release of their new Quantum Computer. Engineers and scientists at the Large Hadron Collider in Cern, Switzerland, showed a vividly clear inter...
Read full storyThe New Demi Lovato Blonde Bobblehead Dolls Are Flying Off The Retail Store Shelves
CHICAGO - The Word Consumer Product Agency has just announced their February consumer focus report. Vinton Onionzook spokesperson for The Word stated that the nation's current product purchasing trend is definitely leaning towards the brand new De...
Read full storySteven Tyler and Shakira To Record An Album Titled, "Lips & Hips Sing The Songs of Justin Bieber"
LOS ANGELES - Steven Tyler, the lead singer with Aerosmith and member of the American Idol judges panel has just announced a musical collaboration with none other than the Colombian firecracker herself Shakira. Tyler was quoted in The Showbiz Gaze...
Read full storyDating Hell
It's not often when our editor comes out of his office, but he came out a few weeks ago and shouted, "James, I have a story for you!" He proceeded to tell me his brilliant idea for a Valentine's Day story, and he wanted me to chronicle my dating life for our readers. I reluctantly agreed only because I had become so tired of being angry and cynical due to the fact that my ex left me for his...
Read full storyLiverpool apologise to Chelsea for Torres
Liverpool have described Fernando Torres' refusal to score for Chelsea as "unacceptable". Torres has since apologised for being unable to hit a cow's arse with a banjo, and admits he has let the club down. Liverpool's managing director, says th...
Read full storySir Alex Ferguson shows first signs of dementia!
Manchester United's manager, Sir Alex Ferguson, 70, has shown his first signs of dementia by claiming that Manchester is nearer Barcelona than Madrid! This astonishing geographical error is proof that the 70 year-old Scot should actually have b...
Read full storyPolitical News for W/E 18th Februrary 2012 - with comments
Sunday 12th February 2012: Political Lies The economy: not as bad as feared Source: YouGov.co The economy, we are told, is still bad, and perhaps even getting worse. But, explains Peter Kellner, public opinion on the subject is improving. "Why?" Monday 13th February 2012: Political nepotism - Fraud Expenses Scandal Is Back - as MPs Claims Soar Again Source: Express.co Anger over the...
Read full storyScientologists flock to new church
The Church of Scientology is taking a bit of a beating at the moment, what with claims of child forced labor, perverting the course of justice and false imprisonment. Several organizations, including Village Voice and the hacker group Anonymous are...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Leg Pose Replaces the Tim Tebow Move at NFL Combine
Though many in attendance at the 2012 Oscars considered it to be much ado about nothing, Angelina Jolie's memorable leg pose has replaced Tim Tebow's kneeling move as the new spoof pose at the NFL Combine. Former college athletes are competing for...
Read full storyLingerie ads release a man's feminine side
Ryan Cooper, a fictitious representative of the author from Oldham, has finally admitted his love of his feminine side after a constant barrage of ads for sexy lingerie. "It was every website I visited," said Cooper. "At first I thought it was bec...
Read full storyAndroid Ice Cream Sandwich to feature Lick-to-Unlock
Following Apple's successful patent litigation concerning its Slide-to-unlock technology, other mobile device software companies will need to look for suitable alternatives. Google has been preparing for this eventuality by designing new unlock co...
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