Lady Gaga Insists Her Tata's Have Not Been Surgically Enhanced

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 6 February 2012


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The lavishly elegant Louis XIV Oui Oui Chandelier that hangs in Heidi's master bedroom. (Photo courtesy of Charlie Sheen)

SHERMAN OAKS, California - Lady Gaga attended Heidi Montag's Super Bowl Party at Plastic Land Manor, Heidi's $8.9 million Slovakian-style mansion.

Lady Gaga and Montag first became friends when Gaga provided one of her shoulders for Heidi to lean on when she was going through the marital turmoil and upheaval with her husband Spencer Pratt.

According to Bedroom Pillow Talk, it was Lady Gaga who paid for Montag to spend a whole week relaxing down in Ensenada, Mexico at Eva Longoria's exquisitely luxurious La Happy Hacienda Hotel.

Montag, 25, later reciprocated by purchasing 2,000 copies of Lady Gaga's CD Born This Way and personally handing them out to the underprivileged kids of Beverly Hills.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: When I read the part about the underprivileged kids of Beverly Hills, I immediately texted Abel and asked him if it was a misprint and if perhaps he meant to write La Habra Hills or La Brea Hills. He texted me back immediately and said that BRT's Gazebo Serengeti had specifically said the underprivileged kids of Beverly Hills.]

Heidi's Super Bowl Party attracked more famous celebrities than any of the dozens of other LaLaLand Super Bowl Parties including Charlie Sheen's Space Cadet Football Bash & Brouhaha at his Mulholland Estate Mansion, Simon Cowell's X-Factorized Football Festival at Casa La T-Shirt Mansion, and Derek Hough's Dancing Fandango Super Bowl Barbecue at his Hollywood Hills mansion Casa Cha Cha Cha.

In fact according to Tittle Tattle Tonight's Tapioca Swizzle, when Charlie Sheen had found out about Heidi Montag's Super Bowl Party, he thought about cancelling his but then he remembered that he had already booked the Scooby Doo Bounce House, the 10 tequila making machines, the 8 Las Vegas strippers, and the 2 Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus elephants.

During Heidi's party, she called Lady Gaga off to the side and expressed to her that her breasts were really looking firmer and bigger than they ever had.

Heidi grinned and asked if she'd had them surgically enhanced.

Lady Gaga started giggling so hard she nearly spilled her Avocado Margarita. After a few moments she gained her composure and simply told Heidi, that she was flattered by her compliment.

She then confessed that no she had not had any kind of bosom augmentation done and that the reason her hooters looked so big was due to an optical illusion which was achieved due to the revolutionary new contour of her Victoria's Secret bra, The Perky X-WOWIE, which was recently developed by one of the best developed breast models in America, Delilah "Yum Yums" Santrawicky.

SIDENOTE: Some of the more famous couples who showed up at Heidi's Super Bowl Party included Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev, Johnny Depp and Lindsay Lohan, and to every one's surprise Steven Tyler's ex-girlfriend Kate Gosselin who showed up on the arm of the soon-to-be-ex-husband of Katy Perry, Russell Brand.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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