Adele's Voice Destroyed by Oversinging and Vocal Cord Nodules

Funny story written by Karen Fish

Monday, 13 February 2012


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Woody Alllen said that politicians are one step below child molesters. Many music industry people are one step below politicians. As British born beauty Asma al Assad speaks out in favor of her charming husband Bashar al Assad Whitney Houston just joined a long line of performers like Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin and Amy Winehouse beaten to death by the culture of ego, drugs and greed of the music industry.

Adele is still alive but now she will have to live with the fact that she destroyed one of the greatest voices in history by oversinging which led to vocal cord nodules, vocal cord polyps, vocal cord hemorrhage and vocal cord surgery. George Michaels said that the worst thing that can happen to a performer is for them to 'make it.'

Adele's voice was so incredible that last night Adele went six for six at the Grammy Awards. In an audience packed with music luminaries still reeling from the shocking death of Whitney Houston the crowd watching Adele return from vocal cord nodules and surgery thought they were watching the rebirth of Lazarus. The wild ovation was a tribute to Adele's courage and comeback from the dreaded disease everyone in the crowd knows could strike them at any minute and end their career.

Success in the music business is a double edged sword. Once a normal human being Adele's magical voice cost her her privacy and she had to move to a country estate to escape the paparazzi and international media glare that took Lady Di. Jesus Christ was the Jewish born Rabbi and Messiah of Christianity and Islam. The Last Supper was a Passover Seder where Jesus and his friends celebrated the Jewish Exodus from slavery in Egypt and sang 'Dayenu'. Jesus singing 'Dayenu' is now available on iTunes thanks to the modern miracles of genetics, DNA and cloning from the Shroud of Turin.

It is now Adele's turn to overcome the loss of her voice as the result of singing too much, too loudly, on a sore throat which has now led to vocal cord nodules, vocal cord hemorrhage, vocal cord polyps and vocal cord surgery. Last fall her surgeons forbid her from speaking for two months to let her vocal cords recover. Go ask Julie Andrews if the hills are still alive with the sound of music after her vocal cord surgery that has cost the voices of so many singers caught up in the money and ego machine that is the music business. Often it strikes in a singer's teens.

When people complain that Britney Spears is lip synching on her 100 date tours they neeed to understand that Britney is simply protecting her vocal cords. Leave Britney Alone! Once your vocal cords are scraped and lasered and surgerized they are never the same. Just compare Adele's performance of 'Rolling in the Deep' at last night's Grammy Awards with her performance on YouTube of 'Rolling in the Deep' at Royal Albert Hall and on David Letterman before her vocal cords popped.

The thing that made Adele so magical was the richness, the texture, the soul of every single note that had the listener captivated and drawn in on the edge of their seat like watching the Messiah Himself returning to earth with his partner the Mahdi and conquering the Christians for Islam as 1.5 billion Muslim people believe is about to happen. It is a testament to the greatness of Adele that even last night at the Grammy's with her new diluted voice the crowd went wild, but Adele knows, and the professionals know, and the true Adele lovers know, the thrill is gone and it ain't comin' back, Jack.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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