Russell Brand Offers To Help Kate Gosselin Mend Her Broken Heart After Being Dumped By Steven Tyler

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

image for Russell Brand Offers To Help Kate Gosselin Mend Her Broken Heart After Being Dumped By Steven Tyler
After having 8 kids and going through hell on 'Dancing With The Stars' Kate still looks pretty good.

HOLLYWOOD - Russell Brand has stated that he watched The Grammy Award Show at his home in the Hollywood Hills and that he was not surprised one bit to see and hear his soon-to-be-ex-wife Katy Perry diss him in her song "Part Of Me."

In fact Russell knew about it beforehand from one of the members of Katy's band, who he said shall go nameless. The musician told him that Perry would even be mentioning their dog Mr. Crumpets.

Russell was a bit shocked, but added that nothing that Katy does surprises him anymore; not since last December when she suddenly dyed her landing strip blue.

Brand spoke with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight and informed him that after seeing Katy's blue hair on The Grammy Award Show, he can truthfully say that her drapes certainly do match her carpet.

De Gallo mentioned that according to Fajita San Guacamole of Hollywood Innuendo Kate Gosselin who starred in Jon and Kate Plus 8 and Kate Plus 8 has quite a crush on him.

Russell smiled as he fiddled with his hair and replied that he understands that Kate has been having a pretty rough time since being dumped last month by her boyfriend, American Idol judge Steven "Lips" Tyler.

He added that as far as he knew the 63-year-old lead singer with Aerosmith and the 36-year-old reality show celeb were doing very well and engaging in some big time vo-di-oh-doeing, or as they call it in Nevada doing the horizontal hokey pokey.

Brand was told by de Gallo that the word on the streets of Tinsel Town was that Mrs. Gosselin has told several friends that she finds herself daydreaming about (Brand) three or seven times a day.

Rusty, as Katy used to call them during their mattress frolicking days, smiled as he took a sip of his Sprite Zero and asked "Da 'ell ya say?"

The Englishman then got a big old grin on his face and his already big dark brown eyes got even bigger as he told de Gallo to mention in his piece that he would like to try and help Kate mend her broken heart.

He giggled and quickly added, "But without any bloomin' strings attached mate."

To view extremely intimate photos of Russell Brand and Katy Perry which were taken during last summers visit to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico go to

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more