Russell Brand and Kate Gosselin Sneak Off To Cabo San Lucas, Mexico For Some Flirtatious Fun In The Sun

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 20 February 2012

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Kate Gosselin has taken up Russell Brand's offer of helping her to get over her breakup with American Idol's Steven Tyler.

And Brand, who filed for divorce from Katy Perry almost two months ago, is reportedly more than glad to try and put a smile back on the former star of Jon and Kate Plus 8 and Kate Plus 8.

The two, who are both 36, flew down to Cabo San Lucas where they checked into The Whole Enchilada Hotel & Spa.

A hotel employee identified as Lydia Lucinda "Legs" Lalaguez told Mexico's Las Maracas News Agency that she had seen the couple as they entered their luxuriously elegant suite overlooking the Pacific Ocean and that they each had smiles on their faces that not even the strongest, industrial sandpaper could have removed.

Miss Lalaguez pointed out that Mrs. Gosselin called Mr. Brand "Kissy Face" and that Mr. Brand called Mrs. Gosselin "Cuddle Muffin."

She smiled and added that if she did not know any better she would have sworn that they were newlyweds except that Mrs. G, as the hotel employees called her, was not wearing a wedding ring, a wedding gown, or wedding shoes.

Brand and Gosselin spent quite a bit of time out on the pristine beach and fellow hotel guests reported seeing them playfully playing the intimate game of 'you touch mine and I'll touch yours.'

According to Laguna Vendetta of Las Maracas News Agency, Mrs. Gosselin kept saying things like "Rusty, you're the sexiest man that I have ever known," "Steven who?" and "Was Katy (Perry) stupid or what not to do whatever it took to hold on to such a fantabulous prize as yourself."

The couple had a great time back at the hotel where they visited the dazzling ornate Pesos & Besos Cantina (Dollars & Kisses Lounge) and danced the night away to the music of the hotel's featured pianist Manolo "El Ivory Tickler" Telemundo Jr.

The extremely talented Manolo Telemundo, Jr. has played on the albums of many well known singers including Michael Buble; Harry Connick, Jr; Shakira; and The Rolling Stones.

The Las Maracas News Agency would like to thank the management of The Whole Enchilada Hotel & Spa for graciously providing the lavishly exquisite hotel room to Laguna Vendetta free of charge.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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