Local Couple Have Big Night Out

Funny story: Local Couple Have Big Night Out

Local couple, Martin and Anne Shuttlecock went for a big night out this evening, in order to celebrate Anne's ongoing recovery from major surgery, and her subsequently excellent prognosis. Various options for the big night out were explored, before Anne finally elected to go shopping at the new Tesco store in downtown Dorking. The one by the roundabout with the really confusing array of traf...

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Osborne's 2013 draft budget found on London train

Funny story: Osborne's 2013 draft budget found on London train

A leaked copy of George Osborne's draft Budget for next year has been found abandoned on a Virgin train travelling from his constituency in Manchester. The draft budget has been graded by an as-yet-unnamed economics professor, notable by the heavy...

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Murdoch announces young, cutting edge replacement for The Sun

Funny story: Murdoch announces young, cutting edge replacement for The Sun

In a move that has surprised many, Rupert Murdoch has announced a new venture that aims to replace the current Sun newspaper team with an emerging tabloid written exclusively by the under-5 age group. The move is said to be fuelled by a discovery...

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Wacko Jacko fedora-shaped UFO in Whitney cortege flypast

Funny story: Wacko Jacko fedora-shaped UFO in Whitney cortege flypast

Newark, New Jersey - "That's gotta be Wacko's heavenly runabout," a Nesbitt Street MUFON aficionado told reporters, "I just seen a pic of his ape Bubbles etched in dayglo pink on the side of the fuselage." The Sussex Avenue location has always bee...

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"Romney: "I DID NOT say that Rick Santorum dressed up in his mother's clothes in high school!"

Mitt Romney issued a statement today denying that he never said at a closed meeting of supporters that Rick Santorum dressed up in his mother's clothes when in high school. "What I said," stated Romney," was that I heard he dressed up in his moth...

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The Mystery Of Puddleby Cove - Featuring The Spiffing Six - Episode Three - Part Two

Funny story: The Mystery Of Puddleby Cove - Featuring The Spiffing Six - Episode Three - Part Two

The story so far - what precious little there is of it - the Spiffing Six have travelled to Aunt Peg's cottage on the Cornish coast, for the summer hols. Nothing really noteworthy has happened thus far. The Six, (Of whom there are really only four.) appear to have done nothing much, other than get drunk, smoke some weed, overeat, and pissball about trying to follow some chap who was larking about...

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Turd Burglars Call For "Brown-Out" Boycotting Gay Sex After Governor Vetoes Same-Sex Marriage Bill.

Funny story: Turd Burglars Call For "Brown-Out" Boycotting Gay Sex After Governor Vetoes Same-Sex Marriage Bill.

Homosexuals state-wide are putting their wedding registries at Block Party and Andrew Christian on indefinite hold, now that a certain gigantic, half-witted Republican Governor has vetoed a law which would make same-sex marriage legal in his state. [...

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Dead Junkie Snarls Traffic In Newark, NJ

Funny story: Dead Junkie Snarls Traffic In Newark, NJ

Those who are compelled to drive through the streets of Newark, whether to go to work, buy cheap meth, or --God forbid-- go home will find traffic ground hopelessly to a halt, this is in the wake of a funeral for a known drug abuser who died last wee...

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Nobody Likes You? - Sorry, There Isn't An App For That

Funny story: Nobody Likes You? - Sorry, There Isn't An App For That

Apps are wonderful things - they provide all manner of solutions to all manner of situations, demands, foibles, and even sexual desires. But if nobody likes you? There isn't an app for that. And software engineer Johnny Soffit should know - he's been trying - and failing - to develop such an app for years. "It all started when I received an Email from a person who claimed that nobody w...

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New WindX for Windows

Funny story: New WindX for Windows

The next generation of PC performance software is here. WindX for Windows is a new program designed to keep your computer clean and ready for installation of any new programs. "If you're ever going to install something, it's best for your compu...

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Scientists Discover Secret to Suspended Animation

Funny story: Scientists Discover Secret to Suspended Animation

Scientists have discovered the secret to suspended animation! For years scientists have experimented with extreme low temperatures to achieve a state of suspended animation in humans, but have now finally cracked the code. "By pumping pure aspa...

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U.S. Epidemic of Restaurants Living Up To Their Name

Funny story: U.S. Epidemic of Restaurants Living Up To Their Name

People all over the country are exercising caution before selecting a destination for an evenings dinner after a man's heart attack at The Heart Attack Grill starts a pandemic of restaurants living up to their names. Reports from all over the countr...

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Argentina set their sights on Caribbean Islands

Funny story: Argentina set their sights on Caribbean Islands

Frustrated by the United Kingdom's militarisation of the disputed Las Malvinas Islands Argentina has turned its attention on an island group in the Caribbean, who they consider have weaker patronage and will be less of a problem to invade and annex f...

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How To Get Ahead At Your Job

Funny story: How To Get Ahead At Your Job

Studies have found that the best way to get ahead at work is basically, to "slack off." The Institute of Medical Latent Apprehensive Zoological Yodeling released their findings today from a year long study of local businesses and offices, on what ex...

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Political News for W/E 18th Februrary 2012 - with comments

Funny story: Political News for W/E 18th Februrary 2012 - with comments

Sunday 12th February 2012: Political Lies The economy: not as bad as feared Source: YouGov.co The economy, we are told, is still bad, and perhaps even getting worse. But, explains Peter Kellner, public opinion on the subject is improving. "Why?" Monday 13th February 2012: Political nepotism - Fraud Expenses Scandal Is Back - as MPs Claims Soar Again Source: Express.co Anger over the...

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Dutch society grinds to a halt as masked, fancy-dressed carnivalists get totally pi++ed!

Funny story: Dutch society grinds to a halt as masked, fancy-dressed carnivalists get totally pi++ed!

Holland, being a very small, flat nation has ground to a halt at the beginning of the carnival season as millions of hair-brained Dutch people stormed the city and town centres, totally pissed and high. This annual event of over-joyful dancing, bo...

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Kiddie Cappuccinos Sold in Brooklyn; Ho-Hum, Say Kids

Funny story: Kiddie Cappuccinos Sold in Brooklyn; Ho-Hum, Say Kids

The latest rage in Park Slope Brooklyn is the fake cappuccino, developed to convince toddlers they're getting designer drinks just like the ones adults are ordering up. Yeah, right! A spoof reporter who understands baby talk has conducted interviews with a number of Brooklyn toddlers and has discovered that they are not deceived. Moreover, they are disgusted by the charade. Here's a sample...

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Nottingham News for W/E 18th February 2012 - with comments

Funny story: Nottingham News for W/E 18th February 2012 - with comments

Monday 13th February 2012: Topic: Nottingham Crime Failed asylum seeker committed £14k benefits fraud in Nottingham Source: This is Nottingham Mohammed Hossein Gholamy, 27, of Maud Street, New Basford, had denied the charges but was found guilty at Nottingham Magistrates' Court. The court heard that after being refused asylum, Gholamy made further representations about his claim in June 2009...

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The New York Knicks 23-Year-Old Basketball Sensation Jeremy Lin Says That Madonna Wants To Adopt Him

Funny story: The New York Knicks 23-Year-Old Basketball Sensation Jeremy Lin Says That Madonna Wants To Adopt Him

NEW YORK CITY - The city of New York has been griped by Linsanity, Linmania, and dozens of other Linspired buzzwords. But Harvard grad and New York Knicks Lincredible player Jeremy Lin who is only 23, is taking it all in stride and at times appear...

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Prom King Declares War on Rival High School

Funny story: Prom King Declares War on Rival High School

Keokuk,Iowa-As his first official act as Prom King Of Dominion High School,his royal highness, Daniel Rufus, has Declared war on rival Newcastle High. The declaration, which took everybody by surprise, was issued just moments after the Prom Court was...

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Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus Getting Into A Tit For Tat Tiff Over Her Tattoos

Funny story: Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus Getting Into A Tit For Tat Tiff Over Her Tattoos

MALIBU BEACH - Miley Cyrus and her Australian boyfriend Liam Hemsworth recently attended a party in honor of the stars of The Vampire Diaries Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev. The shindig was held at Rob Pattinson's luxurious Malibu Beach house kno...

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Demi Lovato Explains Her New Totally Blonde Look

Funny story: Demi Lovato Explains Her New Totally Blonde Look

HOLLYWOOD - Demi Lovato has had more than her share of ups and downs the past couple of years. And just when it looks like things are back on track something seems to come out of leftfield to derail the young singer's cheerful trip down the railro...

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The Scandalous Rumor Mill Focuses In On Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Stars of The Vampire Diaries

Funny story: The Scandalous Rumor Mill Focuses In On Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Stars of The Vampire Diaries

HOLLYWOOD - Two of the most popular and well-liked individuals in LaLaLand are Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev who star in CW's The Vampire Diaries. The celebrity couple has been rumored to have recently ended their relationship. But like Somer...

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Inchcock and Arm: Are you being served? Episode One

Funny story: Inchcock and Arm: Are you being served? Episode One

Mr Arm, stood behind the worn out oak counter, looking through the previous days receipts. Monday had been busy, as usual, and still some weekly accounts had not been settled. no need to panic, Rothchilds always paid its bill. Arm closed the receipt book, and began dusting the counter in readiness for opening time. Eight o'clock, sharp. In the forty years, they had been in the city, the shop ha...

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