Kim Kardashian Reportedly Has Her Sights Set On Kobe Bryant

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

image for Kim Kardashian Reportedly Has Her Sights Set On Kobe Bryant
This is a photo of the basketball that Kobe Bryant autographed and gave to V.P. Joe Biden. (Photo by Jack Nicholson).

BEVERLY HILLS - Kim Kardashian was shopping on Rodeo Drive at the famed Dolce & Gabbana Store for a winter purse.

She was quickly approached and assisted by the store's assistant manager Evangeline Tucker-Waterseason, 42.

Kardashian was thrilled when she came across exactly what she was looking for which was a Miss Sicily Handbag. She paid the $2,039 price including tax and left the store as happy as a lark.

As she walked outside she came across a reporter for Showbiz Gazette who wanted to ask her a few questions.

The 31-year-old Kardashian was in an exceptionally good mood as she was wearing a new pair of pink imported Portuguese short shorts that really accentuated her humongous badonkadonk and elicited looks, whistles, and shouts of "Wow!" from a lot of the male shoppers.

Kim invited the reporter Dottie Windmill to accompany her for lunch at The Lips of The Dastardly Dragon Chinese Restaurant.

Kim ordered them some Crab Rangoon and she asked Miss Windmill if she had interviewed any other celebrities today.

Miss Windmill replied that she was her first but added that the day before she had interviewed Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez in Tarzana at The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo.

Kim asked if they were engaged yet. Windmill smiled and replied that they weren't but that it would not surprise her if come Christmas Selena does not have a brand new last name.

Miss Windmill told Kim that while she was interviewing Selena at the petting zoo, Charlie the Chicken came up behind the singer and pecked her on her ankle causing Gomez to scream out and immediately two petting zoo security guards came to her rescue.

One asked her if she needed CPR. Justin assured him that she didn't but if she did he was CPR trained and he would be tending to Miss Gomez.

Selena was checked out and she was fine, except for a little bit of chicken (blank) that she had accidentally stepped in.

Charlie the Chicken was led away into a holding coop until he could calm down and learn not to go around precariously pecking petting zoo visitors.

Windmill asked Kim how she was holding up with the pressure of the breakup of the 72-day marriage to NBA star Kris Humphries.

She replied that she was fine but wished that Kris would stop calling her everyday asking her to return his $2 million ring.

Kardashian said that she keeps telling him that she is keeping it and to just write if off as a learning experience; a $2 million learning experience.

Kim was asked if she had been seeing anyone since filing for divorce. She replied that she had but she refused to name names.

She then raised her eyebrows and said that there is a certain someone who may be coming into the picture.

When asked who, she blushed and said that he like all of her boyfriends and husband is a sports figure.

"Tim Tebow? Windmill asked.

Kardashian giggled and replied that it was not a football player.

"Alex Rodriguez?" She remarked.

Kim laughed and said that he was not a baseball player either.

She then told Miss Windmill that he plays for the Los Angeles Lakers.

"Not Luke 'Bubblegum' Walton?" asked the Showbiz Gazette reporter.

"No silly girl" Kim remarked, "Luke's white, the fella that I got my heart set on is none other than the soon-to-be-divorced Kobe Bryant."

Windmill could not believe it since the word on the streets of Tinsel Town is that during his marriage Kobe is alleged to have been involved with a total of 905 women.

Kardashian asked if she thought that they would make a good couple.

Miss Windmill took a sip of her Avocado Margarita and pointed out that she thought that they would make a great couple since both are rich, both are out-going, and both just happen to live in LaLaLand.

Kim confided to Miss Windmill that she got Kobe's vital statistics and his cell phone number from Metta World Peace, the Laker formerly known as Ron Artest.

In a somewhat related story. Kobe Bryant's soon-to-be-ex-wife Vanessa has said that the rumor about her asking Andy Dick to go out with her on a date are positively false, stupid, ridiculous, and just plain icky as hell!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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