Vuvuzelas Versus Vampires At Twilight Movie
If you have been watching the World Cup games in South Africa, you do not have to be reminded that the Vuvuzela horns or "hornets" are loud and irritating. Now there is a group of college and high school students, mostly males, who call themselves...
Read full storySusan Boyle to be judge on America's Got Talent
Susan Boyle has been asked to be on the panel of judges for the next season of 'America's Got Talent'. Susan has accepted the 'challenge' but has ONE stipulation. The stipulation is that the Americans - and indeed the Brits. - improve their English...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Fans To Make Sacred Pilgrimage To Gravesite!
It will be a year this Friday since the death of Michael Jackson and his fans across the nation plus international fans will be having memorials at several different occasions. One lady interviewed on CBS said she sold her bicycle to attend her fi...
Read full storyObama Names Gary Faulkner, The Man Who Hunted Osama, to Top Military Post in Afghanistan!
President Hussein Obama stepped outside military channels to name rabid Osama Bin Laden hunter Gary Faukner to the top post in Afghanistan to continue the fight against terrorism after relieving General Stan McCrystal. Faulker, a US construction w...
Read full storyDistrict Judge Blocks President's Moratorium on Oil Drilling after Hunting Invite from Cheney
New Orleans, LA - Federal District Judge Martin Feldman took immediate measures to block the 6-month moratorium President Obama placed on new deepwater drilling projects due to the ongoing disaster in the Gulf of Mexico. Most people were curious as t...
Read full storyUnintentionally Humorous Newspaper Headlines
Here are some unintentionally humorous newspapers headline Report from Inchcock Chamber's (Reporter extraordinaire) Famous Diary. Many Antiques At Senior Citizens' Sale Stiff Opposition Expected To Graveyard Plan Lack Of Brains Hinders Research Four Battered In Fish And Chip Shop Bodies Needed To Look After Graveyard Prisoners Escape After Execution Protestors Tried To Spoi...
Read full story60th Anniversary Issue of Playboy to Feature Original Bunnies Nude!
Playboy Mansion West, California - Some say Hugh Hefner is finally going senile. He has okay'd the idea to have the first five original bunnies featured in his 1953-1958 Playboy Magazine issues pose in nude spreads for the 60th Anniversary Edition of...
Read full storyWorld's greatest invention to assist England at World Cup?
Professor Keekit Ard, from The Republic of Englander, has announced his latest invention. "It is a football player, from this country, that can score a goal. Yes, I know that may seem impossible, but I have overcome many obstacles to achieve this...
Read full storyReverse Psychological Warfare: US donates Nukes to Iran
The United States has decided to try a new tack on its looming war with Iran. The Pentagon's super secret "Reverse Psychological Warfare Department" has recommended that America try to stop trying to stop Iran from getting its own mushroom-makers and...
Read full storyGeneral Strike in England
Round 3 of the World Heavyweight contest between John Terry and England manager Fabio Capello was judged a draw by most judges. Neither fighter landing a decisive blow in their South African Jungle contest. Scottish clan chief Alex Salmond, who bet T...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Snatches Photographs Back!
Hustler celebrity blogger Perez Hilton has apparently brought Miley Cyrus the originals of the exaggerated photos of her revealing too much as she got out of a car last week! Photographers say that it happened this morning just before noon and tha...
Read full storyObama to Banks: Give Houses Away to Boost Economy
Ever since the home buyer credit has been discontinued, housing sales have plummeted and even a new extension on that credit won't help matters this late in the game say housing experts. President Obama needs an even bolder plan to get the housing...
Read full storyDad Sets 4-Year Old Daughter Aloft in Lawn Chair Powered by Balloons
Davis, CA - Sunshine Shammore has landed safely in a California field in what could have otherwise been a disastrous result of yet another parent using their child as a means to end the family's financial worries. Duncan Shammore and his wife, She...
Read full storyObama To Have General McChrystal Castrated
A pissed-off President Obama, reeling from the blasting he took from General McChrystal in the infamous Rolling Stone article, said that he would never name another heterosexual male to a command level position, saying that they are all "loose testos...
Read full storyBerlusconi appointed the new coach of AC Milan
The long awaited announcement of the new head coach of AC Milan has come to an end this afternoon. During a press conference call today by the Milan board, the name of Silvio Berlusconi was called to be the new coach of AC Milan and to be assi...
Read full storyThe Spoof riles US Prez
Washington DC, USA. President Barack Obama has complained today about his personal literary conributions made to popular web site The Spoof. In a short statement Obama indicated that whenever he submitted a spoof tale for publication, the editor(s...
Read full storyIt's Been Two Weeks And Scarlett Johansson Says She Can't Stop Thinking About Sandra Bullock's Kiss
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Scarlett Johansson says it has been two weeks since Sandra Bullock kissed her on the lips during the MTM Movie Awards telecast. The 25-year-old actress confided to her hair stylist, Mr. FuFi Fondue, that since that night she has...
Read full storySecret Travel Spots: Isles of Scilly
Part two in a series of unique and little known attractions hidden within the world's most popular destinations. Not a Silly Island Though pronounced exactly the way one might read phonetically, these beautiful islands off the western coast of the United Kingdom are properly referred to as the "Isles of Scilly". Perhaps most popular or best known to travelers from the U.K. and Western Europe,...
Read full storyNational Crisis - England Fever
17.5 people died when BBC ran a mock bulleting during build up to the World Cup 2010 England vs Slovenia match on Wednesday June 23. The fake news flash was meant to help stoke World Cup fever but it appears to have backfired dramatically. Three p...
Read full storyProstitutes Welcome French Team Home
France's hopes of becoming the World Cup champions were dashed yet a third straight time as they were beaten squarely by South Africa with a final score of 2 to 1. Although the win wasn't enough to keep South Africa in the games, the bigger story is...
Read full storyJagger/Richards: crack appearing in General McChrystal-Meth mess
Washington AC/DC - (Sympathy 4 The Devil Mess): The Glimmer Twins were quick to react today to the public furor surrounding beleaguered General Stanley McChrystal. Their US PR commented Let's Spin the Fight Together this afternoon as President Ob...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Revealed to be Canadian, is Sent to The Phantom Zone With General Zod
Justin Bieber, the boy who duped desperate teens and their corpulent, premenopausal mothers into believing he was attractive, sent to the Phantom Zone with General Zod today, following the discovery that he is a 19 year old Czech woman. Bieber's h...
Read full storyMcChrystal: "Paper or Plastic?"
It might have gone unnoticed, had not a local reporter gone to the commissary at Walter Reed Hospital this afternoon. He quickly phoned his editor to report that he had seen General Stanley McChrystal bagging groceries and asking customers if they wa...
Read full storySecret Travel Spots: Hidden Yellowstone
Part one in a series of unique and little known attractions hidden within the world's most popular destinations. Fish Rock While the vast majority of visitors to Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming will stick to the main roads and visit the most popular attractions, others who prefer a bit more adventure can find other interesting landmarks off the beaten path. While Ansel Adams received t...
Read full storyGame over for French cocklets: now the penalties
Heads will roll, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's responsible for the debacle? I see five (be)headings and five corresponding penalties: The coach, Domenech. He will have his eyebrows shaved on prime time TV. The French Football Federation: the bosses will undergo compulsory lipposuccion. The players: their Nintendo consoles will be confiscated and access to call-girls denied for 4 years. T...
Read full storyDouble-jointed Obama to Kick His Own Ass
He warned us. He gave BP 48 hours or else. And after 2 months of millions of gallons of oil spilling into the ocean, it's official: Obama will have to kick his own ass. When he gave the original warning, he took a lot of flack. "I don't sit ar...
Read full storyDoctors Give Cancer Cancer
At a recent medical conference held in Atlanta, Georgia, a consensus was reached that 83% of doctors didn't have a clue what cancer really was anyway while the other 17% were waiting to see if the health care reform would cover this question. Aft...
Read full storyGuillotine for France
La Maladie Francaise has resulted in the disappearance of the Gallic nation. Thiery Henri, French forward, complained; 'It was the curse of the Irish. I find it hard to handle the shame and humuiliation of our departure from the World Cup as bottom t...
Read full storyGreat New Ideas From BP On How To Stop The Oil Leak
Those ever creative minds at BP are coming up with endless new possibilities of ways to cap the renegade oil well in the Gulf. These include: Training giant blue whales to dive down, slurp up the oil, then surface and spit the collected oil into a holding ship for processing. Hiring Aquaman or Prince Namor from the comic books to assemble a team of aquatic animals to help out. Those guys can...
Read full storyLord Lucan Location - A Clue at Last!
Intrepid reporter Inchcock Chambers, has driven up in his Skoda Estelle to Stormness in the Orkney's, to interview the local police superintendent Wallis Whisky, to confirm the reasons for these suspicions. The superintendent said: "Our suspicion...
Read full storyBlue Mozzarella Balls Shock Italians
It was like a "Rhapsody in Blue." Thousands of mozzarella balls were recalled in Turin, Italy, because they had turned blue when the packages were opened. Authorities were flummoxed. At the same time, there was another strange happening. CD sa...
Read full storyJake Pavelka "The Bachelor" And His Fiancee Vienna Girardi Have Split Because of Pavelka's Three Inch Penis
NEW ORLEANS - Jake Pavelka was in town visiting a friend who is trying to sell his shrimp boat. Pavelka said that he was interested in buying it until he saw it and noticed that it was completely covered with oil from the BP Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill.
Read full storyFilene's Settles Counterfeit Suit By Paying $2.5M in Monopoly Money
Filene's Basement, the bankrupt, not-quite-hip-but-still expensive retailer has settled a counterfeit lawsuit filed by Fendi, which we assume also sells overpriced crap. Filene's had the last laugh, however, when the money was delivered: $1.3 mill...
Read full storyExtra Terrestrial Visitation Confirmed - Several people of differing nationalities confirm visitation!
Several people have claimed 'contact with aliens' this weekend. Reports from Hong Kong, Australia, Peru, Bangladesh, and Norway have been confirmed. In each encounter, the aliens appeared in human form. They claimed to have come from the planet L...
Read full storyTop Military Strategist Proves Tactical Skills By Pissing Off The Leader Of The Free World.
While it is always fun to watch a person take a s-it on a career that they've worked hard to nurture, most Beltway insiders say that the firing that will undoubtedly befall General Stanley McChrystal in the coming weeks couldn't happen to a more dese...
Read full storyJerry Seinfeld Says If Lady Gaga Ever Sits In His Yankees Box Again He'll Beat Her With Her Own Dress
NEW YORK CITY - Jerry Seinfeld is not one to mince words as Lady Gaga has found out. The man with the 'sing song' voice did not like the fact that the singer sat in his New York Yankees box while he was visiting Mount Rushmore in South Dakota. He...
Read full storyIf You're Ever in Miami and Need a Limo...
If you're ever in Miami and find yourself in need of a limo, here's a tip, ask someone who knows someone who knows someone. Don't attempt to find one yourself on the internet. It could lead to a whole lot of misunderstandings. Here are a few tidbits I found while surfing websites offering limo services in the South Florida area. I honestly am not making any of this up. Who knew hiring a limo fo...
Read full storyWimbledon Vuvuzelas On Sale!
There was a shock in store for tennis fans when they arrived at Wimbledon this morning, after it was announced that a trial is to be given to the revolutionary Vuvuzela sound system employed so enthusiastically at the 2010 World Cup. Fans at the t...
Read full storyGeorge Soros: "I'm Having a Very Good BP Oil Crisis"
NEW YORK - Those who know the name "George Soros" probably remember the phrase "I'm having a very good crisis" as US financial markets hung from a thread at the edge of an abyss. Once again, Soros relishes the misfortune of one of the largest interna...
Read full storyLocal man's Psychic Cat Predicts Easy England Win
Local man Martin Shuttlecock, currently malingering and drinking more beer than can possibly be good for him while the World Cup's on, decided to conduct an experiment last night, ahead of England's crucial World Cup clash with the mighty Slovenia.
Read full story3 in 3 French Children Expected to Survive Team's Behaviour at World Cup
"Go f*** yourself in the a**, you son of a wh***" is what Nicolas Anelka is alleged to have told his coach, shattering the peace and tranquility of France, throwing a former superpower of the world into political and economic chaos. A study conducted...
Read full storySusan Boyle Vagina Pics Ignored By Internet Surfers
Pictures posted on the internet showing the vagina of Britain's Got Talent superstar Susan Boyle, have largely been ignored by fans, it's been reported. The photos, showing a dry, hairy, grey clam with myriad folds of flabby white skin, have drawn...
Read full storyJeremy London Kidnapping Shocker: You're The Guy From Mallrats? Dude, WTF?!
The most recent revelation from the Jeremy London kidnapping story: Jeremy London was the guy in Mallrats?! Proving that the food court at the Eden Prairie mall is MUCH better than at Menlo Park, kidnap victim Jeremy London, who is now a big fat m...
Read full storyWorld Cup - England Expects
England expects - that the team will not be packing its collective bags tomorrow and coming home to be pampered by the WAGs. Skoob Sports News are delighted to report that we got that one wrong. Because we just added a NOT there in Editorial. After t...
Read full storyLetters to Congressperson Doofos from a Constituent
Have you written to your Congressperson or Senator lately about pertinent issues such as healthcare reform, energy legislation, tax credits, illegal Immigration, out of control spending, the economy, the national debt, the BP oil spill or Michelle's garden? Then to only receive an inane response, written by a legislative aide, such as follows. Dear Congressperson Doofos: I do not believe that t...
Read full storyShocking Find: Study of Kids Whose Moms Lived near Cell-Phone towers During Pregnancy Released
There has been a shocking find from a multi-year study of children whose mothers lived close to a cell phone tower while pregnant, and health insurers, personal injury attorneys and telecom giants are scrabmling to decipher the results and exploit th...
Read full storyNo Room for Truth In Obama Regime: General Resigns after Calling 'a spade a spade' in Afghan Policy Dispute
A career warrior General, graduate of West Point, leader of men in battle, and a product of the Honor Code, was replaced today as leader of Free World Forces in Afghanistan by a Community Organizer, and a career politician with hair transplants suff...
Read full story