National Crisis - England Fever

Funny story written by A MCRORY

Wednesday, 23 June 2010

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17.5 people died when BBC ran a mock bulleting during build up to the World Cup 2010 England vs Slovenia match on Wednesday June 23. The fake news flash was meant to help stoke World Cup fever but it appears to have backfired dramatically.

Three people died by choking on digestives which had not been properly dunked in their brew. McVities were not available for comment. The deceased were located in Manchester, Brighton and London. One person died because he took his eyes of his prized python - apparently startled by the content and mood of the BBC piece, which was indiscernible from the bulletins of 9/11 and 7/11.

Six men from various locations around the country bled profusely and died after they were 'scalped' by their hair stylists as they were being attended to.

Reports have not yet been confirmed of a woman who died after shrieking and consuming approximately one litre of bath water into her lungs while bathing in the Bath region.

Circumstances surrounding the other fatalities are unclear but one man has been arrested after he cleaved his wife to death, assuming that the bulletin was about to report that North Koreans had fired nuclear missiles at the West. Neighbours heard the man, a butcher in his 50's repeatedly shouting,"How's that for drop one stitch one?" One of the man's acquaintances said that he was finding it hard to adjust to domestic life after being made redundant and became increasingly isolated and paranoid about Communists.

The BBC have yet to comment except to say that any death is regrettable and the aim of the spoof was to help create a festival atmosphere among BBC viewers.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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