Filene's Basement, the bankrupt, not-quite-hip-but-still expensive retailer has settled a counterfeit lawsuit filed by Fendi, which we assume also sells overpriced crap.
Filene's had the last laugh, however, when the money was delivered: $1.3 million was in Monopoly Money, and the rest was paid in rolls of pennies, smallpox infected blankets, and those little gold foil chocolate coins that realtors give to kids on Hallowe'en.
Fendi filed the suit in 2002, accusing Filene's of selling fake Fendi goods.
"The goods are gray-market goods," said Filene's CEO I.M. Phucked, just before being drawn and quartered by stockholders. "Most of our goods were purchased from duty free shops and Fendi outlets in Italy. The clothing was then wrapped in coffee grounds then transported to the US in the rectums of German teens travelling under assumed names. Thus, we don't believe they were counterfeit."
A hidden camera expose showed that the Fendi dresses in question were made of old paper plates cinched together with spit amd sealing wax, and that the labels were written in crayon on pieces on pieces of a ripped up pizza box.
Filene's says that, while their retail stores are shuttered, they will still be selling Louis Vuitton handbags, 2 for $35, at flea markets in affected areas.
