The most recent revelation from the Jeremy London kidnapping story: Jeremy London was the guy in Mallrats?!
Proving that the food court at the Eden Prairie mall is MUCH better than at Menlo Park, kidnap victim Jeremy London, who is now a big fat monster, was absolutely unrecognizable in photos.
Friends and co-stars have spoken to the media about this shocking story.
"Dude, I WAS the fat guy in Mallrats," said Ethan Suplee, the actor who owes every dollar he's ever made to Jason Lee. "Now, I'm all skinny and banging My Name Is Earl groupies, and now T.S. Quint is a blimp! Ha."
London ended his day with a prepared statement to press: "Hey, I love diet and exercise as much as the next guy, but why should I pay some old hag good money for some supernatural chicanery coupled with a pair of sagging, wrinkled, weathered boobs?"
Kevin Smith is contemplating legal action.
