Alex Reid's Mick McManus Audition Goes Well
Alex Reid has announced several times recently that he really wants to get into acting, and with that in mind he auditioned today for the leading role in the upcoming all British biopic of wrestling legend Mick McManus. Alex Reid said that he was...
Read full storyFriends Fear For Ashley Cole 'The Hermit'
A bunch of people claiming to be close friends of Chelsea football star Ashley Cole, recently separated from Cheryl, the famous one, have expressed concerns regarding his welfare. We were informed that since the split, Cole has locked himself away...
Read full storyLady Gaga Insists: "I Am Not In Love With Paul Scholes"
A very angry Lady Gaga last night insisted that she was not in love with Manchester United midfield dynamo Paul Scholes. She told reporters that she didn't even know who the heck Paul Scholes is, let alone that she's fallen head over heels in love wi...
Read full storyGlazer Plans to Unite Teams
Owner of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Manchester United sports teams, Malcolm Glazer, today announced formal plans to merge the franchises into a single entity. The scheme includes splicing in players from both Soccer and American Football to create...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Buys A New Dog!
Miley Cyrus was seen at Los Angeles hit-kennel Paws Palace, buying a new dog, a Labradoodle, last week. The puppy supposedly a girl, is called, Miam, after Miley and boyfriend Liams couple name. Miley and Liam were spotted an hour later taki...
Read full story"If Bill Clinton and Alex Rodriguez can blag their way outta trouble so can I!" Tiger tells press
Augusta - (Fore! PLay!) "Fortunately Elin's a lot more malleable than Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr," Tiger Woods commented today. Describing his damascene matrimonial conversion from libertine to angel the champion athlete gave credit to the...
Read full storyKatie Price Kicks Alex Reid's Ass Over Disabled Parking Space
Police are investigating a brawl that took place over a disabled parking space and involved Katie Price, the model formerly known with big boobs, and her wife Alex Reid aka 'The Reidernator'. The event apparently occurred in front of the 'Celebri...
Read full storyGeordie Joy as Newcastle United return to the Premier League
The streets of Newcastle were tonight awash with celebrating Geordies as they saluted the Magpies return to the Premier League, the place where they belong apparently. Among the revellers were celebrity supporters including Ant and Dec, Sting, Jim...
Read full storyJessica Rowling Arantes: Mum's paranoia about my Portuguese relatives!
Portimao - (Slitherin): JK Rowling's raven-haired, doe-eyed sixteen year-old daughter has lashed out at her Mum's legendary control freakery. Jessica Rowling Arantes, holidaying with her father Jorge's family in the Algarve, says her Pa is skint a...
Read full storyPollution expert says Chevron testimony 'is a dodgy dossier'
San Ramon - (Crude Mess): A leading US environmental science expert said this weekend that someone has created a 'dodgy dossier' out of his Ecuador pollution report in a deliberate bid to tamper with the evidence. Renowned US biologist Charles W C...
Read full storyFergus McCarthy Will Be "Flagship Attraction" In New Irish Tourism Drive
Visitors to Ireland have always responded to its bewitching romanticism. The Emerald Isle, that mist-wreathed faery kingdom - rich in wild landscapes, home of literary giants like Yeats, Joyce and Beckett, resounding to the heartbreaking lilt of its...
Read full storyPope's state visit cancelled as sex romp pics flood internet
London - (Holy Cow!): The Missus is livid. Decades of watertight cover-up have failed to stop the publication of Joe Ratzinger's 1945 stag night pics, taken at a Hellfire Club temple on the banks of the Thames. Dozens of images posted on the inte...
Read full storyLive Sex On The One Show - Christine Bleakley In Tears
The BBC was inundated with complaints from furious viewers last night, as The One Show descended into chaos with a shameless display of live on camera sex, which left presenter Christine Bleakley in tears. During an item on the show about rabbits,...
Read full storyUK Sheep Wars
Farmers in the UK have been put on high alert after a week of cattle and sheep mutilations across mainland UK. Farmers have been telling of bright lights orange spheres and humanoid creatures threatening there lives and livestock. I spoke To One...
Read full storyFans Jeer President Obama For Throwing Like "A Girly Man."
Washington baseball fans jeered President Barack Obama for "throwing like a girlie man" while blooping the ceremonial first pitch over the catcher's head in today's opener against the Phillies. Although Obama takes pride in being an all-around ath...
Read full storyTreasure Horde Found in Grimsby
Archaeologists in Grimsby today discovered a horde of buried treasure. The site in Cartergate which is being re-developed for housing is in the vicinity of the 12th century St James Church. Stan Toogood head of archaeology at The University of Lincol...
Read full storyMary Potter and the Tempest In Her Womb Part 1
Mary was resting under the shade of a large oak tree in the middle of Sherwood Forest. She'd run away from her family 24 hours earlier when she had first discovered she was pregnant. Mother and father, although mere peasants working the land for Baron Gotgoober, would be distraught to find their only daughter a virgin no more. It fleetingly crossed Mary's troubled mind to try going the 'i...
Read full storyCheryl Cole's Whirlwind La Paz Visit Ends In Tears
Taking advantage of a well earned day off from her exertions with Dancing Derek Hough, X-Factor judge and chart topping solo artiste Cheryl Cole today embarked on a whirlwind trip to the Bolivian capital, La Paz, in order to consult with her long tim...
Read full storyNaughty Alabama Senior Girls Paddled for Wearing Inappropriate Prom Dresses
Oxford, AL - Eighteen senior girls were singled out for wearing inappropriate dresses to their prom and given a punishment choice between paddling and 3 days' suspension. 17 of the girls chose paddling, while one chose the suspension. The girl who ch...
Read full storyPope Promoting Reality Show
Kate plus eight did it. D-lister Kathy Griffin is doing it. Sarah Palin is rumored about to do one and Levi Johnston says, "Good idea, grandma!" and will also do a reality show. So the Pope (who may or may not be out of a job soon and in need of a ne...
Read full storyInterview with the Colonel. No. 32 in an Endless Series
Good morning, Colonel Linctus. Graham Chandler. I'm from the Argus & Bugle. Do you now. Well, you needn't think you can start that here. Pardon? Bugling. I had enough of that in the Army. I retired to Weymouth for the peace and quiet you know. Don't want me eardrums burst by some idiot blowing his bugle at me, eh? The Bugle is the name of a newspaper, Colonel. Aren't you expecting...
Read full storyLife on Mars... But Not At NASA
NASA and JPL today announced the cancellation of the forthcoming Mars Science Lab mission (MSL), based on the poor economic situation, a general disinterest of the public and various redundancy factors. NASA's chief Spokesman, Major Tom Thomas, sa...
Read full storyErykah Badu Banned From United Kingdom
British authorities today announced that US hip-hop artiste Erykah Badu will be classed as an undesirable alien and banned from entering the United Kingdom, should she attempt to visit that country. A spokesman from the British Home Office confirm...
Read full storyTeabaggers Demand Barney Frank Free Gerbils
The news that conservative Teabaggers have finally addressed the plight of gerbils held captive by Representative Barney Frank has members of Washington's gay community up in arms. A few years ago it was revealed that Barney's roommate was runni...
Read full storyTiger not out of the Woods yet
Poor Tiger! He's sneaking around various Golf Courses preparing for the Big One next week. He's trying to keep a low profile and seems a little nervous as he has was photographed on an un-named course yesterday, where children were having an East...
Read full storyBrit Martin Handford claims to be architect of 'Where's Hillary'
President Obama denied allegations that Hillary Clinton has been decapitated by Al Queda while on a peacekeeping mission to Kielbasastan. "Mr. Clinton (yes we meant to say that) is a vital aspect of my regime and I can guarantee to the American p...
Read full storyInterview with the Colonel. No. 24 in an Endless Series
So, Colonel Synge. We were going to talk about your time with the Drambuie Lowlanders. Were we? I didn't know that. Yes. You remember. We spoke about it the last time I saw you. And we've also written. And we spoke on the telephone last Tuesday, to arrange this meeting. I'm not, you know. Sorry Colonel? I'm not what you think. I, I don't understand. What do you think I think?...
Read full storySusan Boyle 'Rear Of The Year' Prize A Cruel Hoax
Notoriously untrustworthy internet joke website liesliesandporkypies.not crashed this afternoon as it was inundated with emails and calls from irate Susan Boyle (SuBo) fans protesting at the website's totally fabricated headline declaring that the di...
Read full storyConspiracy Theories - My Take having read Chris James' recent article on the subject
Having just come down to visit The Spoof offices after marking Math Books (Maths to my fellow Brits) I came across Chris James' article re Conspiracy Theories. He's certainly got ME thinking. His name does have a Biblical ring to it. There's definitely something 'fishy' about him. His mind wanders down those beautiful corridors of fantasy for hours on end. He usually manages to find his way b...
Read full storyAlex Reid Calls Peter Andre A Serial Victim
Cross fighting cage dresser Alex Reid has finally broken his silence over wife, Katie Price's alleged lingering affection for Greco-Aussie hard man with a soft centre, and ex-husband Peter Andre. Reid flatly denied that he and Katie Price would be...
Read full storyCoronation Street's Sophie Webster and Sian Powers Share An On-Screen "Kiss"
LONDON - Well finally, the much anticipated Coronation Street 'Kiss' between Sophie and Sian has been filmed and will air on April 11. Sophie and Sian share an on screen kiss that will cause a lot of Coronation Street viewers to go "Blimey!" "Wodt...
Read full storyKatie Price To Give Full Backing To 'Hand Relief' Charity
Everybody's favourite boulder-breasted, horse-riding, wedding-addicted glamour model Katie Price today announced that she was pleased and honoured to be in a position to offer full support to the charitable foundation 'Hand Relief' 'Hand Relief'...
Read full storySusan Boyle's new CD single is a smash hit Scottish classic
Scottish superstar, Susan Boyle, has recorded a new single. Her house version, of "A Gordon For Me", recorded live at the Auchenshugle Tattiebogle Town Hall, accompanied by the Strathspey and Badenoch Accordion Band is already a monster hit in Scotla...
Read full storyLocal Man In Jolly 3D Google Tomfoolery
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was enjoying a quiet Easter weekend at home with long suffering wife Anne, and fooling about on the internet while she was road testing yet another bloody E-Bay purchase. (Never sells - only buys, a tat merchant's dream...
Read full storyBunny hunting to be made legal
The latest hot news from the pre-election rag bag that is the, er, pre-election ragbag, is that it seems likely that the next government plans to legalise bunny hunting to replace the old-age sport (!) of fox hunting. For those not in the know (I'...
Read full storySS Brigade For Tea-Baggers Spitzkrieg Announced for Capitol
A spokesman for The Tea Party movement announced today an elite brigade for The Tea-Baggers. SS is the acronym for "Saliva Solutions" and members will be instructed in the art of spitting and chosen from those that already have shown an ability to sp...
Read full storyAlex Reid Finally Grows A Pair
Alex Reid, the cage-fighting cross-dressing movie phenomenon and second husband belonging to Katie Price has stood up to his wife for the first time. Since marrying Reid earlier this year Katie Price has made a number of demands on her new husband...
Read full storySports Player's Strike Imminent
Sports fans should break this down succinctly: If you like football, baseball and hockey, you'd better get off your duff and do something about basketball. If you don't, you can kiss your favorite games goodbye. That's the message being sent by th...
Read full storyKatie Price To Be Face Of New Cosmetics Brand
Glamour model and businesswoman, Katie Price, has revealed she is to launch her own cosmetics brand, and will hire no other model than herself to promote the range. It is reported that Katie has decided to press on with the range after she applied...
Read full storyBrown: Economy Is Like Rooney's Arse
Gordon Brown likened the UK economy to Wayne Rooney's backside during a speech to the Old Trafford Young Mum's Group. Following intense criticism from David 'Dave' Cameron, the Prime Minister came out fighting. "It's all very well for some upper c...
Read full storyNo Boy & Boy rooms at this B & B
Bob Black runs a B & B in Bournemouth,and has put up a sign vacancies in his guest house but the sign also says NO BOY AND BOY ROOMS IN THIS B & B. This comes after a politician Chris Gayling,claimed that B & B owners had the right to tur...
Read full storyAl Gore cries as news comes through that Arctic ice has increased dramatically
Al Gore was in tears today after he heard the news that Arctic ice has increased dramatically due to the severe winter. Friends of Gore said he cried like a baby when told that the polar ice caps were frozen solid. The evidence shows that far...
Read full storyLionel Messi In Trouble With His Mum Over Bedroom
Barcelona and Argentina star Lionel Messi returned to his family home this week to hold emergency talks with his mum over 'the state of his bedroom'. Messi, 22, went direct from training on Thursday to see his mum after she called him up and told...
Read full storyTony Blair turns a rack black
Tony Blair burned several rounds of toast and turned a rack black. The entire rack of toast was so burnt and smoking like the remains of an invaded country like Iraq after it was illegally invaded. Fire-fighters turned up at the Blairs mansion aft...
Read full storyPamela Anderson Promises To Showcase Her Boobs and Booty On Dancing With The Stars
HOLLYWOOD - Pamela Anderson was pretty upset that she ended up in the bottom two on last week's Dancing With The Stars. Anderson said that she cannot figure out how Kate Gosselin, a graceless, talentless, fake blonde with a rather stretched out wi...
Read full storyRosie O'Donnell Announces That She Has Just Bought Two B&B's In Chris Grayling's Hometown
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Comedian Rosie O'Donnell heard about Tory Chris Grayling's remarks which stated that bed and breakfast owners should have the right to turn away gay couples. O'Donnell, a self-avowed lesbian immediately called up her business mana...
Read full storyGiant Air Conditioner to Fight Global Warming
In a press conference held yesterday at the Nowhere Institute of Technology (NIT) Isaac Newton's Apple Conference Center; scientists and engineers from three major research centers (NIT, Berkelee and Vermont Lab for Homeopathic Studies) have announce...
Read full storyNew Kids movie is X rated
Sidney Studios - The latest movie by family entertainments company Sidney is an action comedy named "The Giant Isopods Mystery" staring Curt Russell, Nathan Lane, Angelica Houston, Bo Barnstable, Weird Al, Tommy Smothers III, and Woo Choy. The...
Read full storyFive reasons why you need an iPad
The iPad has rocked the world with it's 9 1/2" screen and sleek design. You can read books, play games, access safari, and most of all, one more device you would use to worship Steve Jobs. These are the ten reasons why you need an iPad: 1. Worship the Apple Method. If you already been in worshiping it with the iPhone and all the Macs, or just a starter, the iPad is a great device to star...
Read full storyColeen Rooney Denies She's Pregnant, Says It's Just Two Too Many Crumpets
LONDON - Coleen Rooney, one of Great Britain's more better known WAGs replied to a reporter that no she is not pregnant and that she only looks that way because she does love to eat. Coleen went on to say that truth be told, the real reason is a s...
Read full storyCalifornia Bomb Scare - Heroic man, age 24 saves bus full of 12 people
Negro Johnson the, "hero" of the situation says, "It was nothing, I knew that guy was up to something and plus theres a really hot chick and I want to score!" Abbudin Yaqoot Saquala, a 46 year old male from Islamabad, Pakistan was caught trying t...
Read full storyCrosby, Stills, Nash, & Young Are Booked To Play At Russell Brand and Katy Perry's Wedding
LONDON - Russell Brand has stated that he and Katy (Perry) have decided that when they get married they will be having the 70s icon American band Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young play at their wedding reception. Brand said that he knows that the...
Read full storyDerek Hough Convinces Cheryl Cole To Guest Star on Dancing With The Stars
HOLLYWOOD - Derek Hough, one of the dance instructors on Dancing With The Stars, has convinced his new gal pal Cheryl Cole to guest star on the reality dance show and sing her latest hit "Parachute." And Cheryl Cole, who thinks the world of Derek...
Read full story'Easter Bunny' and Brother accept sentencing with 'relief'
The ex-student (known as Easter Bunny) of Huffington Public School in Ontario, Canada, and his younger brother, were in court today. 'Easter Bunny' ran amock in a small school in Ontario 2 days ago. He caused the school to 'lockdown' and rampage...
Read full storyStranger Than Truth: Meet the Qeux Family
Scanning the covered deck that spans the entire length of the home, there is large barrel grill, an axe, a loaded shotgun and two red & white coolers, both fully stocked with ice and cold beer. The view of the backyard from this point includes a 6 ft. wrap-around privacy fence that holds within its confines two old Ford pick up trucks, a broken commode that now serves as a planter, a fully...
Read full storyThe KKK Are A Bunch Of Sissies
Remember a time when people actually took the KKK seriously? Before, when Klansmen and Head Members didn't have guest appearances on The Jerry Springer Show. Seems those days have finally passed and now it's just a bunch of red necks dressed up in Halloween costumes. I mean they can't even do anything anymore. The KKK acting out has become so much of a rarity that anyone who gets lynched or...
Read full storyTaxi Driver Makes Profound Statement On Catholic Church Sexual Abuse Row
A Leicester taxi driver handed out leaflets today in the city asking the public to refrain from knee-jerk reactions over alleged cases of sexual abuse by priests on children and subsequent cover-ups by the Church. The leaflet stated quite calmly t...
Read full storyJesus Upstaged in Easter Mass by Cardinal Defending Pope
For the first time in history, Easter Mass was not about Jesus' resurrection but about the Pope being a great leader of the Catholic Church in spite of many claims of sexual abuse by priests all over the world and the Pope's inefficient handling of t...
Read full storyRoy 'Chubby' Brown Backs Chris Grayling In Gay B&B Row
Much loathed sexist comedian and self confessed 'fat bastard' Roy 'Chubby' Brown has expressed his support for Shadow Home Secretary Chris Grayling in the gay bed and breakfast ban row. The furore began when Grayling was secretly taped saying that...
Read full storyDubai couple mount appeal in kissing case
The British couple jailed for kissing in public in Dubai, have mounted an appeal against the one month jail term they received. It is understood that new evidence stating that they were not kissing, but in fact were merely passing a passport fro...
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