Augusta - (Fore! PLay!) "Fortunately Elin's a lot more malleable than Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr," Tiger Woods commented today.
Describing his damascene matrimonial conversion from libertine to angel the champion athlete gave credit to the 12-Step recovery program that teaches lying, cheating, whoring bastards how to turn their lives around.
"Pa - I mean President Clinton! - of course, he whored helluva lot more than I ever could.
"Stamina of an ox and cock of a rhino. He and Alex taught me everything I know."
Woods has chosen this week's Augusta Masters to reopen his current account with the public after falling off the matrimonial credibility wagon last Thanksgiving.
Internet spread betting agents Aintgottaprayer.con said today they stand to lose $5 million after 'one Mrs E Nordegren Woods' placed a $1,000 wager at 5-000/1 that a thunderbolt or stray golf ball this week will make Woods' wife into a celeb widow.
The weather is set fair all week.