London - (Holy Cow!): The Missus is livid. Decades of watertight cover-up have failed to stop the publication of Joe Ratzinger's 1945 stag night pics, taken at a Hellfire Club temple on the banks of the Thames.
Dozens of images posted on the internet show the fledgeling wannabe pontiff frolicking starkers with young seminarians at the Devil's Island satanic folly.
Young Joe also features in 30 minutes of 8 mm home movie footage receiving his pre-nuptial SS tattos and initiating the best man, ushers and wedding witnesses.
A partially naked Queen Mother, swathed in a scarlet cloak and furry ermine knickers, presides over the ceremony with a nail-studded whip as the groom-to-be is ritually dunked into a vat of VSOP brandy before a cheering be-swastikaed audience.
"Actually, this is pretty tame stuff, considering!" the religious affairs correspondent of celebwatch magazine LA FagHagSlagMag said today.
"But animal rights nutters might take exception to what happens to a totally blameless, 25 stone Gloucestershire Old Spot sow who's seen standing in for the bride during the actual wedding vows rehearsal."
Prince Philip was best man at the satanic nuptial ceremony and later accepted a $1 million bung to 'marry' the new Mrs Ratzinger in a star-studded wedding in Westmonster Abbey in November 1947.
Lord Mountbatten was clinically certifiable.