Grim Reaper Plays Russian Roulette With The Halloween Queen
London - (Bye-Bye-Miss-American-Spy): The Astrologer Royal was taken away to the Royal Freak Hospital's Witchfinder General Wing today by the Third Royal Battalion of Men in White Coats. Reporter were told his latest official advice to take arseni...
Read full storyPremature Ejaculator Wishes A Happy Christmas To All
A premature ejaculator, who I can't name here for legal reasons because I could possibly incriminate myself, or him, or both of me, today said that he wanted to wish everybody in Spoofland a Happy Christmas. The premature ejaculator, when challeng...
Read full storyArab World Upset At New Movie "The Men Who Sleep With Goats"
The Arab world is up in arms and upset about the new movie starring George Clooney and titled "The Men Who Sleep With Goats." Muhammed Rahad Siyad, secretary at the Saudi Arabian consulate office in Hollywood, offered the following statement: "Th...
Read full storyTwilight To Kill Off All Characters In Last Book?
Stephenie Meyer, according to one of the most truthful of Hollywood Newshound mags, The Truth Tattler, has decided to do one more Twilight book and kill off the whole lot. "I thinks she's sick to death of all the little shits", stated one insider...
Read full storyBordello Falls: Straightening Out The Mess: Ride Sally, Ride:Chapter 10
Recap: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8| Chapter 9 Donkey Sally semi- sachayed down the winding staircase of the Apache Oasis Bar, his velvet clad spurs not making a sound as he placed his left boot on the bar rail, hawked a big one into the brass spittoon, and called for "Whiskey, you F**** Ponce!" to the imported Dudley bar keep...
Read full storyBarack Obama invited to join the Welsh Windbag Society
The Welsh Windbag Society, whose chairman is Neil Kinnock in Brussels, today asked US President Barack Obama to join them, and he duly accepted. This is the first American, and indeed the first black American, to join the WWS, and Mr. Kinnock made a...
Read full storyPlaymate Chelsea in Newest Playboy is Handler, Not Clinton
Animal rights activists who were concerned about beastiality were relieved to discover that comedian Chelsea Handler is in the newest edition of Playboy magazine, not Chelsea Clinton. Gertrude Lutz of The Society for Prevention of Sex with House P...
Read full storyThe X-Factor's Danni Minogue Tells Why She Posed Nude
LONDON - X-Factor Judge Danni Minogue has revealed in an interview with Russell Brand why she posed nude in PlayMister Magazine. The 38-year-old singer, actress, model told Brand that it was way back in 1995, and she was 24-years-old. She said...
Read full storyPETA Pickets Poughkeepsie Picnic
Poughkeepsie, NY - Taking advantage of accidental publicity surrounding one large New York family's reunion picnic plans, local New York and New Jersey chapter members of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals surrounded the picnic grounds and r...
Read full storyUS announce end of recession, US wanker bankers can't wait till Christmas!
The US is officially out of recession, it's gonna be a Merry Christmas everyone! After pumping trillions of bucks into their economy, saving corrupt bankers butts, putting Obama on top of their Christmas tree as their first "black fairy" the US g...
Read full storyHardware Store defends Baal
West Palm Beach, Florida - A man has been fired from hardware giant Apartment Central for loving God. The man was an admitted Christian, who wore a cross under his shirt and carried money in his wallet that said, "In God We Trust". He was also know...
Read full storyMariah Carey Battling Booze Abuse, Hubby?
Mariah Carey is being accused by her husband Nick, according to an inside source, of neglecting the fact that they both wanted a baby, but Nick says the battle with the parties and the bottle is interfering. In response, the source stated, that Ma...
Read full storyBarack Obama Appoints Kinky Friedman As Chupacabra Czar
President Barack Obama added another Czar to his cabinet with the appointment of Kinky Friedman as his Chupacabra Czar. Friedman is a singer, writer, and comedian who has also run unsuccessfully on an independent ticket to be the Governor of Texas.
Read full storyOsama Bin-Regulator?!
Sex Offenders and Monkeys have failed, stupid knee-jerk reactions to mortgage problems and vain attempts to look like they do something have had no impact, the British public still think that ailing financial regulators are still about as useful as s...
Read full storyAgassi admits swallowing, Steffi admits sniffing and blowing, a "Mixed Doubles" pair made in heaven!
Like every true sportsman or woman should do, Andre Agassi has admitted it, "I took drugs and it wasn't my fault!" After this admission the world also awaits the hottest revelation ever, great friend, drinking, smoking, blowing partner Lance Arms...
Read full storySimon Cowell Announces An X-Factor Spinoff To Be Called Y-Factor
LONDON - Simon Cowell's 19th Hole Production Company owns the musical reality shows X-Factor, American Idol, Hungarian Hero, Lithuanian Luminary, and Venezuelan Ventriloquist. Cowell has announced that his company will soon begin televising his la...
Read full storyFame says "I don't like Kate Moss, either."
The God of fame has decided that he's sick of being insulted by Kate Moss. He said he gave her the gifts of beauty and popularity, and now she's flung them all back in his face, by saying she doesn't like Fame. He says from now on, he will not be su...
Read full storyKappa Kappa Kappa fraternity once again fails to meet goals for recruiting minority students
"Frustration" was the key word in a disappointing turn of events, as the Kappa Kappa Kappa fraternal organization of college students didn't reach its recruiting goals for minorities for the twentieth year in a row. "We firmly believe that in ord...
Read full storyAnarchy At TheSpoof.com As Everyone Tries To Make Their POINT.
EGGCUP-ON-TABLE, UK - Anarchy may be rearing its pointy head in the ranks of online satire smash TheSpoof.com, as the subject of rating points came to a boiling point this morning in the site's discussion forum. It appears that a writer may or may...
Read full storyJews & Christians Agree - Dylan Must Go!
In a joint proclamation, Judiasm and Christianity today announced the excommunication of Bob Dylan from both sects, based primarily upon his newest album, "Christmas In The Heart." Speaking for Judiasm, Rabbi Phylo Spektor said, "Although we appre...
Read full storyInterview Tips
Paterson, N.J. - In these dark day's of Obama's America, breaking into the job market is harder than ever. That's why the good people at Whiteman and Blechboi have provided a list of tips to help you ace any interview and make that job your's! 1. Leave your cell phone on. Nothing says, "I'm worthless and no one needs me" like your phone not ringing. When it does ring, check the number, so t...
Read full story'Gold-digger' girl 17, marries man 112
They call him the 'Horn of Africa'. At 112 years old, Ahmed Dore has a reputation to live up to. He has already got 18 children and in the process has worn out 5 wives; and, like a Duracell rabbit, he keeps going and coming and going and coming, on...
Read full storyNude Katie Couric Visits Nudists Colony Longwhopper Restaurant Sued 2,111 Times For Spilled Hot Coffee
Nude CBS anchor, Katie Couric, in a desperate attempt to boost her news ratings, visited a Florida nudist colony today to visit with the manager of Captain P's Longwhopper Restaurant which has been sued a record 2,111 times. First, Ms. Couric had...
Read full storyHomosexuals Blast Adam Lambert For Album Cover
Two of the largest organizations of homosexuals in the United States have blasted singer Adam Lambert for the cover of his new album. Lambert, who was the runner up on American Idol, has admitted that he is gay. Bruce Simmons, head of the Super U...
Read full storySt James' Park Naming Rights Resolved
Having taken Newcastle United FC off the market and offered naming rights to St James' Park, owner Mike Ashley has announced that a deal has been finalised. As of December the first, St James' Park will no longer be referred to as St James' Park.
Read full storyLindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson visit convalescent homes
Lindsay Lohan with her lesbian lover Samantha Ronson visit women's convalescent homes to ease the loneliness of single elderly women. During their visits they bring the women lingerie which they have not worn since they were young women in their t...
Read full storyGhost of Frank Zappa in bid to replace Stephen Gately
Late music legend, Frank Zappa, has contacted boyband Boyzone in a bizarre bid to be Stephen Gateley's replacement. Zappa, who appeared to the remaining members of the band disguised as a meat feast pizza topping, begged to be allowed to audition...
Read full storyMarisa Miller for sale
Hollywood, California - A top lingerie company has come out with a new product this fall, and while all their products have appeal to men, this one has appeal for men. At three million dollars, it is believed to be the first time that they've sold...
Read full storyToe Jam Found to Cure Hangovers
Palermo, Italy Linked to infectious disease research conducted by the Palermo Institute for Pretty Decent Health, common toe jam was found to be the best cure for sever hangover. Accidental hangover benefits were discovered after performing c...
Read full storyCola company about to get away with it
Detroit, Michigan - Two men had an idea back in 1981 for bottling water. They shared it with a giant soda company who promptly stole it. Having sued and won over a billion dollars, due to the Phizz Cola Company not contesting it, the two are about...
Read full storyBike: Think!
Optical Illusions are amusing. They make us laugh, especially ones like the mirrors at Funfairs that make your skinny wife look fat and your munter missus look like a rake. But what about the optical illusions that kill at least, if not fewer, 275 motorcyclists a day on Britains roads. You know the ones, the optical illusion that makes you think that the speed limit sign says 30mph so the...
Read full storyEx-Girl Chaz Bono Thrilled He Now Has To Shave His Face Once A Week
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Sonny and Cher's ex-daughter, now son, Chaz Bono has happily revealed that he now has to shave his face once a week. Bono, who tips the scales at 303, (literally), said that he is enjoying being one of the 'guys.' He said that...
Read full story'Hot Mormon Muffs' calendar pokes fun at missionary position
Salt Lake City - (Mmmmm!): A 'Hot Mormon Muffs: A Taste of Motherhood' calendar is all the rage with Utah residents known for their espousal of the traditional missionary position. The $15.95 calendar is jam-packed with tasteful booby pics, scanty...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Criticized For Her Crotch-Grabbing Performance
POCATELLO, Idaho - Miley Cyrus was on stage performing at Pocatello's Mr. Potato Head Arena, when all of a sudden in the middle of her song "Ooh La La, I'm In La La Land" she reached down and grabbed her crotch. Stunned audience members and even t...
Read full storyThrifty Tips #9
In our occasional series of Thrifty Tips, aimed at saving you money but normally resulting in embarrassment and ill health, not to mention fleecing you of all your hard earned cash, we will today attempt to show you how to save money, have fun and be healthy all in one foul swoop. More and more people these days are turning to healthy live bacteria drinks to maintain their 'transitvan digesticu...
Read full storyAmy Winehouse To Marry Homer Simpson Saying Animations Never Get Tired
Singer Amy Winehouse has announced that she and Homer Simpson, who plays the husband of Marge Simpson on hit TV show "The Simpson's" have eloped. "Homer is the guy I should have married years ago", Winehouse told a reporter ot hte Truth Tattler.
Read full storyExclusive: Keegan speaks!
Each week sports writer Gary Puddle meets a sporting legend. This week it's KEVIN KEEGAN, beloved footballer and legend of the Kop. Here Puddle lays bare the man behind the hair. I'm not sure what to expect. I meet Keegan at his bungalow just outside Walthamstow. I've been told he can be testy sometimes. I don't want to get off on the wrong foot with one of Britain's best-loved footballers, so...
Read full storyTop 12 Rejected Football Bowls
After deciding to call the new football bowl game in Lexington, Kentucky The Horsehead Bowl, TheSpoof has collected the runner-ups: 12. The Shirts/Skins Bowl 11. The Rush LimBowl 10. The Manute Bowl 9. The Luke Duke $ Bowl 8. The Balls Cup Bowl 7. The Vince Lombardi Ashes Bowl 6. The Racehorse Old Stew Bowl 5. The Steroid Ass-Shot Bowl 4. The Thundercup Chamberpot...
Read full storySusan Finkelstein's Rugby League defence in Craigslist hooker row
Philadelphia - (Balls To That!): "Ain't no Craigslist hooker!" is how 'gorgeous, tall, buxom, blonde, diehard Phillies fan' Susan Finkelstein put it to an undercover cop last week. The 43 year-old Philadelphia Phillies fan has been charged with so...
Read full story'The Nick Griffin Guide to Being British', by Nicholas Griffith
'Firstly, boys and girls, you must have a white skin, so things get a bit complicated already. Because millions of Britons including me are Celtic people, people who are or whose ancestors were Scottish, Welsh or Northern Irish. And are very dark-looking people, because the Celts originally came from the Middle East. OK, let's just forget that little snag, ahem. Secondly, you must have a Britis...
Read full storyEx-Letterman Writer Spills The Beans
NEW YORK CITY - An ex-writer for David Letterman's Late Show Nancy Scoggington says that she can no longer keep quiet about her time as a Letterman staff member. She revealed to a reporter for Venetian Fair Magazine the reasons she quit. Scogg...
Read full storySolar Power May Destroy Earth, According to Scientists
Scientists working with the Maxxon-Oilbill Corporation have disclosed that excess use of solar energy could cause the climate to destabilize and result in massive global freezing. "You see, the energy from the sun naturally comes down, hits the gr...
Read full storyLemonade 'crisis talks' to be held at the United Nations.
Not since the Boston Tea Party held back in the 1700s, which saw the loss of the British North American Colonies to General George Washington and the formation of the United States of America, has there been a crisis over drink. Back then it was t...
Read full storyRonald Reagan Republican Rehabilitation Ranch for Recovering Liberals Expands Facilities
Simi Valley CA: The Ronald Reagan Republican Rehabilitation (R4) Ranch for recovering liberals has added a new wing to its current facilities. A brief ribbon cutting ceremony was followed by family members and former Reagan administration officials g...
Read full storySpoof Writers Bargis Tryhol And Skoob1999 Dance In The Pouring Rain - But Not In A Gay Way
Spoof writers Bargis Tryhol, the man with the world's largest penis and Skoob, the man with the world's stupidest opinions on life and stuff met up tonight in NYC in Rolf's Bar on 3rd Avenue. In a gesture of mutual respect, Skoob asked Bargis to d...
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