Toe Jam Found to Cure Hangovers

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Thursday, 29 October 2009

image for Toe Jam Found to Cure Hangovers

Palermo, Italy

Linked to infectious disease research conducted by the Palermo Institute for Pretty Decent Health, common toe jam was found to be the best cure for sever hangover.

Accidental hangover benefits were discovered after performing chemical analysis on protein and bacteria cultures from the gummy foot substance, while searching for cures to other diseases. Asked if the toe jam cure was truly effective, research scientist Dr. Franco Encounter told reporters, "Si". Research assistants for the doctor elaborated further. "We were looking for a cure to something important, but wound up with this unexpected result. Who knew that grotesque body substances could cure common ailments".

In the weeks following the announcement, the P.I.P.D.H. marketing department was busy looking for a way to sell the potential product, but faltered once understanding the steps needed to harvest the foot substance. Local pubs on the other hand were busy modifying portions of their seating areas to accommodate "toe sucking" couches which faced each other at an ergonomic distance. "We believe our patrons will use this as a way to meet people, while solving the next morning's hangover problem at the same time", says Palermo pub owner Carlo Dovpizz.

"There is a better way to stop a hangover from ever happening", the normally reserved Dr. Encounter told reporters. "A hangover is caused by acute withdrawal from drinking… so don't stop drinking". Pub owners across Europe and the United States were pleased with the doctor's prescription.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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