The Welsh Windbag Society, whose chairman is Neil Kinnock in Brussels, today asked US President Barack Obama to join them, and he duly accepted. This is the first American, and indeed the first black American, to join the WWS, and Mr. Kinnock made a welcoming speech to Obama as he waited for his gravy train to pick up steam.
'Make no mistake here', he said, 'we can only thank President Obama, who has turned back the frontiers of colonialism and moved America forward in such a demanding and difficult job, almost as demanding as my demanding job of being the chairman of the Welsh Windbag Society, and of course a no less demanding one of being whatever the hell a European commissioner does to justify such a massive salary. Glenys.'
'Why thank you, more coal? I know I've only made a few nationally-covered speeches in my career but - notwithstanding I was the first woman in the Welsh Windbag Society, a trailblazing feat for a woman - even my waffling platitudes about socialism and equality and women's rights pale into insignificance compared to Barack Obama's, if you'll pardon the cheap pun.'
And the President himself, speaking from his jet as it flew towards Cardiff, said: 'I thank the people of Wales, I thank the women of Wales, I thank, have thanked, and will in all sincerity thank - for this is our goal - the LLanffgggiellfffestiniogdwrglynrs with my heart, with my soul, with my bowl of leek and potato soup I'm now eating in a Welsh manner, if you can eat, rather than drink, soup. Yes I am!'
The Welsh Windbag Society has had many famous members, including the Kinnocks and David Lloyd-George, whose own name is an excellent example of Welsh windbaggery, as it was really just plain David George. There is also rugby player Jonathan Davies, though he is handicapped as a windbag as no-one understands what he's talking about, and Tom Jones, every one of whose songs are pure Welsh piffle.
'Why, why, why, am I a windbag?', he asked, before adding 'rum tum tumty tumty tumty tum', 'why, why, why, a Taff windbag?' And Barack Obama added 'And Welsh men play rugby withOUT helmets? Heck, let us not remove helmets from - we now can say with fairness, with purpose, and with sincerity
- their wimp heads, or they might bust out crying in, while not what a homophobic male here might call a bad case of American men being big girls' blouses, being an example of a reform we shall consider for our players, and then do nothing about it and waffle pish about it for another three - perhaps less than three - more years',
and the pilot of the jet fell asleep out of boredom listening to the newly-appointed honorary member of the Welsh Windbag Society, leaving Obama to switch on the plane's autopilot so that it circled round and round for hours like Obama going round the houses without making any point about anything, til the pilot woke up.
