Sex Offenders and Monkeys have failed, stupid knee-jerk reactions to mortgage problems and vain attempts to look like they do something have had no impact, the British public still think that ailing financial regulators are still about as useful as sweetcorn in a Turd.
The Monthly Cycle surveyed 200 members of the public today in Scunthorpe and every single one gave a resounding "C*nts" when asked the following question, "Financial Regulators: Great or C*nts?"
We advised Trout Bulging of the regulator's public relations team of the findings and he repllied, "F*ck 'em, we earn a packet and don't really care what the British public think, if you look up to the 15th Floor of our offices you'll see the bloated director Lesley Tit-Wank fiddling while Rome burns, and the rest of us are just waiting for our ill-earned bonuses!"
We asked chairman Lord "Red" Adair Turner what he thought, but he was too busy burning tenners and drinking Port to answer.
There are members who are mortified by today's surveys however, Thrust Vagneski of the Small firms and Cuntact team stated, "We are aware that we need to raise our public profile, the only option left to improve our ratings is to recruit Osama Bin Laden and to reanimate Hitler, watch this space f*ckers !"
