Cola company about to get away with it

Funny story written by Alexandria177

Thursday, 29 October 2009

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No, it wasn't this company who stole...

Detroit, Michigan - Two men had an idea back in 1981 for bottling water. They shared it with a giant soda company who promptly stole it. Having sued and won over a billion dollars, due to the Phizz Cola Company not contesting it, the two are about to learn a lesson in American jurisprudence.

You see, while legally speaking, they have won, and due to the company's mistake - a secretary didn't pass on the letter from the court - they must be paid, it doesn't quite work like that.

While little people would be compelled to pay up at once, and certainly if the two men owed the cola company, they'd be made to pay up at once, a Mega-Corporation will not.

"We're going to blind those two with appeals and motions and reconsiderations.", reported the cola giant's lead attorney. "Those two had best plan on having grandkids, because that's how long we'll be fighting."

Insiders estimate that the cost of having a dozen lawyers throw monkey wrenches into the court system until India establishes it's Moon Base will be less than five percent of the award, so it just makes financial sense.

Of course, taking a page from a giant oil company who has long dodged compensation for an oil spill two decades ago, the cola company will carry the judgment on their books as a "loss" for tax purposes from now until China sets up their neighboring Moon Base near India's.

Said the two guys, "Uh, we're just happy we won and got to be in the news. We know we're never actually going to see a dime."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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