Written by BCShow

Thursday, 29 October 2009

image for Kappa Kappa Kappa fraternity once again fails to meet goals for recruiting minority students

"Frustration" was the key word in a disappointing turn of events, as the Kappa Kappa Kappa fraternal organization of college students didn't reach its recruiting goals for minorities for the twentieth year in a row.

"We firmly believe that in order to better our understanding of other people, we need to interact with them. That's why we've been trying so hard to attract incoming students of different ethnic, religious, and socioeconomic backgrounds," said Jonathan Lynch, national spokesperson for the fraternity. "But it's hard to show your support for diversity when your organization is so homogenous."

Members of the fraternity on the university level agree. According to James Crowe, president of the fraternity's Harvard chapter: "I'm simply baffled. I don't know what more we can do to get our message across. We've tried everything: big marches down the street, brothers waving banners with our fraternity's name on it-I'm starting to run out of ideas."

Many individuals across the country echoed these sentiments, but some remained hopeful.

"I don't know about some of those other Debbie Downers, but our chapter has some great activities planned that will hopefully spark some interest," said Ohio State chapter president Roger Taney. "Halloween is going to be great. All the brothers are going to dress up as ghosts and try to 'scare up some new recruits!' Then we'll end the evening with a big bonfire where we burn a wooden 't' so that Texas loses and we go up in the BCS standings."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: college

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