The US is officially out of recession, it's gonna be a Merry Christmas everyone!
After pumping trillions of bucks into their economy, saving corrupt bankers butts, putting Obama on top of their Christmas tree as their first "black fairy" the US government proudly announced, we're out of it!
A slight problem occurred after this historical announcement was made, the US treasury was innundated by hedge-fond managers, CEO's of major banks and other corrupt individuals demanding their Christmas bonuses back!
"Black Fairy" Obama sitting on top of his Christmas tree responded immediately, "you bunch of egoistic, scrounging, scrooging, no good, greedy, sons of bitches, all you think of is yourselves!"
"Well mother fuckers, you can all wait because I'm first in line!"
The US treasury was ordered to send a $multi-million cheque, tax free, to a secret bank account in the Bahamas.
As for the scrounging scrooges who caused the shit in the first place, they will receive their bonuses, but only if the UK comes out of recession, fat chance of that!
