Clarkson Worshipped by Anarchists
Hoodie "journalist" and "personality" Jeremy Clarkson was today revealed to be the object of misguided worship; in an exclusive interview with a Proper Journalist the anarchist Rosa Lexusbourg revealed her cult had been behind Clarkson's recent accid...
Read full storyExclusive interview with Mary Hinge!
I travelled to the residence of Mary Hinge for an exclusive, first-ever interview. SHe had given me directions, and to my surprise, they were very clear-cut and correct. On arriving at the door, I rang the bell, hearing the sonerous bell tolling deep within the house. Suddenly the door was opened with such speed and power, I wasn't aware of which side the hinges were. And there stood the doy...
Read full storyMadonna IS interesting, shock latest
After decades of the news being filled with totally and utterly and mind-numbingly uninteresting stories about half-decent dancer Madonna, it came as a shock to people that Madonna actually IS interesting. 'I was surprised', Mrs. Ethel Reddy said,...
Read full storyAnother Charity Shop Closes In Dudley
Dudley, the West Midlands town where, until very recently, the economic downturn had had no tangible effect, has now started to feel the pinch, with the closure of a second charity shop in a month, it has been reported. The town, where nobody even...
Read full storyFlu Outbreak and the Old Curable
Health Ministers have been advising pensioners to Save having to get a flu jab each year by not queuing outside the Post Office every Tuesday morning in the pouring rain an hour before it opens. "They won't run out of money. It's not like the queue o...
Read full storyFern Britton Cruelty Shock
Amateur garden enthusiast and fat former TV hostess Fern Britton was questioned this week, after she faced charges of gross cruelty. It was reported that on 24th March 2009 the former model and superstar was snuffling and digging for truffles in...
Read full storyRock Star Seeks Mercy
A Rock star arrived in Malawi seeking mercy. Madonna has returned to the country where she bought (surely adopted?) a child. On arrival she declared "I've come here for mercy. I will not leave without mercy." Many people find the prospect of rich,...
Read full storyObama's Special Olympics Gaff tied in with stimulus bill
The stimulus package that the Obama administration put together has some people frothing at the mouth in anger. Part of the bill requires that State social services reduce cost by cutting off thousands of people who receive disability benefits.
Read full storyDead Horse Being Flogged
The British public have today been issued a warning. Clax Mifford, media manipulator and son of Satan, is about to launch another personality. Sillipa Shitty, the Indian actress and Big Bother contestant, is heading our way. Obviously following th...
Read full storyFilm stars attend the funeral of the British movie industry
The British movie industry, which died in 1984, was today laid to rest in London, and hundreds of famous actors and actresses attended the funeral. Helena Bonham-Carter, who has had surgery to make a Victorian costume part of her body, including a...
Read full storyThe Large Hadron Collidor - The Truth!
After an official investigation into the accident at the Large Hadron Collider the powers that be have recommended that an early warning system be installed. This system would detect the early stages of a helium leak, following an incident that has s...
Read full storyNashville Specialist Expands Women's Breasts By Special Malipulation, Chants
Randall Knox, a breast therapist in Nashville, Tennessee, has been running ads and placing posters at laundromats and grocery peg boards, just may be in trouble with the law. By advising women that he could help enlarge their breasts a full cup...
Read full storyLowton Announces Top Spoof Writer Award
Salt Lake City - Answering stinging criticism that his writers are merely pawns in his global dating service empire for unwed Moslems, Mark Lowton has announced that "The top writer for TheSpoof.com will henceforth be rewarded annually with a smart w...
Read full storyPension grows as clueless mob storm the Edinburgh lair of former banking vampire.
The furious but inept mob baying for Goodwins blood and brandishing an array of weapons warned of more attacks on UK wankers. The warning preceeded the attack on Sir Fred Goodwins castle of evil by a pitch fork, and torch wielding mob who promptly bu...
Read full storyMichelle Obama Gives Reporters Tour of Pimped Out White House
After two months in office, Barack Obama has finished "pimping out his crib." The extensive remodeling of the White House is now complete and the First Lady gave a pool of reporters a tour of the second floor this week. Michelle Obama met with fi...
Read full story"You're worth sh*t" according to beauty product manufacturer
Beauty product manufacturer, L'Unreal, has decided to 'come clean' over their recent range of advertisements which had been designed specifically to part women from copious amounts of money. Nothing new there, eh? However, up to now famed for cele...
Read full storyG20 safety fear.
X Factor finallists G20 are regretting their choice of band name. The Simon Cowell backed outfit are due to appear at The Crown and Horseshoes pub in Wapping at the same time as the G20 political summit. Drummer Barack Pyjama said "We heard th...
Read full storyThrow Your Baby Out With The Bath Water! NOW!
Beijing, China - A leading Scientist is urging parents to go ahead and throw their babies out with the bath water after reports that baby toiletries laced with cancer-causing chemicals could have contaminated their children. Doctor Vincent Van Nor...
Read full storyTop 22 Little-Known Boyscout Badges
22. Making sure campfire is pissed out. 21. Best-Dressed inflatable tent partner. 20. Stiffest Poster for having Apple shot off head. 19. Written essay on why Bea Arthur is still hot. 18. Hot Hornet's nest toss. 17. Master Scout's lap dummy. 16. Nude wading in shallow creek. 15. Performance In Game, Campers & Rednecks. 14. Extracting own tooth with pliers. 13. Owl, H...
Read full storyUpfront Scamster Introduces Himself
Hello My name is Fred Smith, I am from Nigeria. let me start by saying that unlike other Nigerian scam artists I am about as honest has one could get. I WANT TO EXTRACT ALL OF YOUR MONEY, it's true but I want to do it in an refreshingly Honest, Upfront and "Cards on the Table, way." Here is my story (Yarn): My great uncle Ugenyemi was tragically killed in a unicycle accident whilst he...
Read full storyPirates of the Caribbean: Sticky Micky escapes
CARIBBEAN CORRESPONDENT - UNDER FIRE, PROVIDENCIALES, FRIDAY: Here in my dugout, with shells flying overhead, it is clear that the situation worsens by the hour. In the confusion of the Haïtian invasion, Sticky Micky slipped his shackles and fled to the Spanish Main(land), leaving his Proagressive National Piracy franchise in the unsure hands of Gilly Willy. As Dominican warships loom on...
Read full storySocial networking: Twitter has competition!
A new website has been launched today to compete with Twitter, the social networking and micro-blogging service that enables its users to send and read other users' updates known as tweets. While anyone can sign up to Twitter, the new site, Twatt...
Read full storyAIG Bonus Money to be Diverted to Congress
The United States Congress has announced that the millions in AIG bonus money that they had returned from AIG executives will be sent to Washington. The money will be evenly split between the 435 Representatives and 100 Senators as a bonus for their...
Read full storyGPS Systems are Tools of Big Brother
Executives at the Ministry of Truth have revealed that Big Brother really is watching you. The GPS Navigation systems and On Star systems in cars and cell phones are actually tools of Big Brother to keep track of the location of his citizens through...
Read full storyGeithner Considers Abandoning The Dollar: AIG Bonuses Paid in Bahts?
Washington,DC/ Impaired Political News - Adopting a Siege Mentality, searching for anyway out, Secretary of the Treasury Tim Geithner acknowledged he is looking for a universal currency to replace The Dollar, long the benchmark of a stable world econ...
Read full storyJacqui Smith Porn Film Row
The Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith, is this afternoon "very embarrassed" over her involvement in a row over films that have been deemed to be of a Pornographic nature, it has been reported. It's alleged that Ms Smith's husband, Richard Timney, viewe...
Read full storyAustralians cull hated Jade Goody fans
QUEENSVAGINA, Austrialia - People here 'ave taken pat in a maaass capture of Jade Goody fans as part of a collective effort at pest control. Some of these huge pests are pretty smelly, too. The cull is known as Jade Day Out and was advocated by a...
Read full storyNew Football League Will Try to Tackle NFL
You may have heard about several upstart football leagues. The United Football League, All American Football League, and the United States Football League are all planning to start within the next 13 months, with some of the leagues stating they woul...
Read full storyMichelle's Victory Garden Already Paying Off: 3,000 Marijuana Plants Showing Profit!
Washington,DC/ Rolling Stone Magazine/ Business-Entrepreneur Section - A spokesperson for Michelle Obama said the First Lady was ecstatic that her Victory Garden, planted only last week to combat the higher cost of imported Marijuana from War Torn M...
Read full storyFury at MP's failure to claim housing expenses
An enquiry has been launched following allegations that a front bench minister failed to claim all the expenses he was technically able to claim on a second home. It is believed the MP lives in London, 'a few minutes from Westminster', and so does no...
Read full storySandbag auction shortened for Red River emergency
Darryl Janhonen, of Brunsdale, ND, just south of Fargo, decided three weeks ago to sell off his 100,000-plus sandbag collection on the popular on-line auction site. Janhonen, 47, has been collecting the bags for nearly a decade and meticulously numbe...
Read full storyHellfire Club warns Queen Elizabeth 'more likely to drop dead on April Fools Day' than meet President O'Bama for tea
London - (No Fool Like An Old Fool Mess): Grandees of the Hellfire Club of Great Britain have issued a stark warning predicting the entirely spoof Queen Elizabeth Windsor 'is more likely to die of a heart attack on April Fools Day' than meet with Pre...
Read full storyHome Sexcretary In Virgin Porn Cash Swindle
Jaqui Splff, Home Sexcretary, has been involved in yet another scandal. It seems that her husband has been sitting at home (one of their homes) and has been indulging in some pocket billiards. Obviously being the spouse of a cabinet minister can be l...
Read full storySmith in video nasties caper
London - (Sordid Ass Mess): Home Secretary Jackie Smith is waist-high in crap this week following reports that her husband used her Parliamentary credit card to pay for adult video nasties of her and Prime Monster Gorgon Brown 'screwing over the coun...
Read full storyColombian incest nutter more depraved than Fritzl court told
Tolima Province, Colombia - (Reuterus & Lurid Ass Mess): The Fritzl hostage incest syndrome has spread to Colombia where police have arrested a 69 year-old man accused of fathering eleven children by his daughter. Arcedio Alvarez, dubbed the M...
Read full storyWhy Juggling Is Better Than Sex
... You don't need a partner to juggle. ... Having blue balls isn't a bad thing. ... You don't have to worry about how many other people your partner has juggled with. ... Jugglers aren't judged by the size of their balls. ... You don't have to wear protection. ... You don't have to worry if your juggling partner is a minor. ... After juggling, you can do it again right away.
Read full storyClimate change: God comments
In his first interview on the subject, God explains that he has no regrets over climate change, although he can see that it's 'a tad inconvenient for the human race.' In an interview with Philip Schofield he said, "You've got to realise that I'm a...
Read full storyJenson Button Disqualified
Jenson Button has sensationally been disqualified from the Australian Grand Prix. Button, who finished first in the race, was relegated to last place by the sport's administrators who cited a recently introduced regulation that 'No English driver...
Read full storyF1 News: Safety Car Wins First Grand Prix
There was a shock right at the start of the Formula 1 season at the Australian Grand Prix this morning, when all of the pre-race favourites fell by the wayside, with the eventual winner turning out to be the Safety Car! Britain's Jenson Button, dr...
Read full storyMissing Sock Turns Up Safe
There were celebrations in the capital this morning, after a sock that had been missing for more than two months from a house in Muswell Hill, turned up safe and well - under the owner's bed! The sock, one of a pair belonging to Barry Plebb, 13, h...
Read full storyMadonna To Adopt Her Own Father
The pop world was in shock this morning after it was revealed that Madonna, already the mother of two of her own children, as well as that Malawian kid, is to adopt her very own father, Silvio "Tony" P. Ciccone! Mr Ciccone is reported to be "pleas...
Read full storyWhy Fishing Is Better Than Women
When you go fishin' and you catch somethin', that's good. If you're making love and you catch somethin', that's bad. Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither…and want to know how many other fish you caught. Fish don't complain if you light up a smoke right after you catch them. You can catch and release a fish, you don't have to lie and promise to still be friends after you l...
Read full storyPink Chaddhi Election in India
The World largest Democracy INDIA is going to under the hammer to select a new Parliament. Many national as well as regional parties have thrown their towels, clothes, money, power, gang-leaders etc into this election. But the most surprising entry i...
Read full storyTiny Dick Timney Named Media Watchdawg by Home Sec'y Wifie Smith
Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has a very expensive second home payed for taxpayers squirrelled away somewhere in her sister's back bedroom in a tiny flat in Cheaters-on Therun, Doublecross. But that is no longer the big story as The Daily Male reports...
Read full storySpanish Inquisition to Try Bush Torturers
The European nation most infamous for injustice, torture and persecution has brought suit against six US Bush administration officials alleged to be involved in torture. The Obama administration has recognized that his predecessor's underlings did em...
Read full storyFreedom Tower to be Re-Named Economic Regulation 4 All Really Big Building
After the desrtruction of the NYC World Trade Center Twin Towers, few mentioned that these were part of the world economy. The missing towers became political symbols for everything from bravery, sacrifice and freedom. The new landlords of the ne...
Read full storyThree Boys Show Up with Mammoth Boners in Michigan
Researchers have placed reports on worldwide net websites about three boys in southwest Michigan who are exhibiting mammoth boners. The odd part of the story is that the reports do not come from sex researchers or even urologists but can be traced ex...
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