QUEENSVAGINA, Austrialia - People here 'ave taken pat in a maaass capture of Jade Goody fans as part of a collective effort at pest control. Some of these huge pests are pretty smelly, too.
The cull is known as Jade Day Out and was advocated by a Queensvagina politician, Hanesien Nuthkien.
The Goody fans have to be captured alive and unharmed, examined by psychiatrists, and then killed humanely under the rules.
Jade fans were introduced to Australia from England in 2008 to watch television, but became pests when they spent too much time on the couch, asking for snacks and brew.
"This is an example of how the war against Jade Goody fans can be won," said Mr Nuthkien, who hopes to take Jade Day Out nationwide.
Critics of Jade fans blame them for just about everything. Of course, some say this is unfair.
Children also took part in collecting the fans. "I've got no clue how many we've got but they're all fat!" said one boy involved in the hunt for the couch potatoes.
The majority of fans will be turned into fertilizer or donated to the science department of Cannibal Cook University.
But a few of the most obese ones will be stuffed by a local Queensvagina taxidermist.
"We had one that was near a half ton - must have watched Jade Goody reruns all day and all night, never getting off the couch!", complained Mr. Nuthkien.